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求幾個英文小笑話(要搞笑的哦,簡短的,不用多)

1)TOM'S EXCUSE

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go

Slow".

湯姆的借口

老師:湯姆,您為什麽每天上學遲到?

湯姆:我每次路過拐角,壹個路標上面寫著:"學校----慢行。"

2)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”

“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”

壹盒火柴

媽媽讓湯米去馬路對面的商店裏買壹盒好用的火柴。湯米回來後,媽媽問他,“妳買的是好用的火柴嗎?”

“是的,媽媽。”湯米回答,“我把它們都試過了。”

3)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.

Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!

開車

父親:哎呀,我剛才違規右轉彎了。

蘇西:沒事,爸,跟在妳後面的警察也這麽轉了。

4)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

兩只鳥

老師: 這兒有兩只鳥,壹只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀嗎?

學生:我指不出,但我知道答案。

老師:請說說看。

學生:燕子旁邊的就是麻雀,麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。

5)Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.

Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.

Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

半個還是十分之五

老師:妳願意要半個柑橘,還是十分之五個柑橘?

傑拉得:我寧可要半個。

老師:仔細想想,說出理由來。

傑拉得:因為妳如果把柑橘切成十分之五,那柑橘汁就損失太多了。

Heat and Cold

A class of Physics at school. The teacher: "Now, who can tell me anything about heat?" A small boy held up his hand: "Heat makes things larger, Sir, and cold makes things smaller." “All right! ”Give an example." "In summer days are longer because it is hot, in winter they are shorter because it is cold."

熱和冷

學校裏正在上物理課.

老師提問:"現在誰能講壹講對熱的認識?"壹個小男孩舉手回答:"老師,熱能使東西膨脹,冷能使東西縮小."老師說:"很好,舉壹個例子.""夏季,白天變長,因為天氣太熱;冬季白天縮短,因為天氣太冷."

The Doctor Knows Better

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

醫生懂得多

壹個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."

聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比妳懂得多."

The Fish Net

“Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?”

“A lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.

魚網

“妳能告訴我魚網是什麽做的嗎,安?” 老師發問道。

“把許多小孔用繩子栓在壹起就成了魚網了。” 小女孩回答道。

4、

The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

“George, how did you like your new teacher?” asked his mother.

“I didn’t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said

that two and four were six too……“

新老師

9月1日, 喬治放學回到家裏。

“喬治,妳喜歡妳們的新老師嗎?” 媽媽問。

“媽媽,我不喜歡,因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6.”

5、

A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates

were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then

hear the thunderrolls? Nick’s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

壹次物理考試

在壹次物理考試時,當同學們都還在苦思冥想時,尼克很快就答好了第壹個問題。

這個問題是:為什麽在打雷時,我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲?

尼克的回答是:因為眼睛在前,耳朵在後。