Several weeks later,Jhlynn and I were wakened by a small voice crying,"Da-da".Turning over to go back to sleep,my wife said,"She's calling you,dear"
譯：壹天，我下班回家，發覺我的妻子將我們六個月的女兒輕輕放到搖籃裏，而且重復地說著："爸-爸"，呵，多麽甜美，我自忖道，她選擇教會我們的寶貝的第壹個詞是："爸-爸"。
幾個星期後，妻子和我睡得正香，忽然被小小的哭聲給喚醒了，"爸-爸"。。。。我翻個身繼續睡。。妻子說了："親愛的，她正在叫妳呢"。
Two men were talking at the office rest room.One was telling the other about a fight he'd with his wife."In the end ,"he said,"I had her begging on her knees."
"What did she say？"asked the coworker.
She told me to come out from under the bed.
譯：兩人正在休息室談論著。壹位正對另壹位說起與妻子的壹場爭鬥。他說："最後，我終於成功地迫使她跪下來求我"
另壹位很好奇："她怎麽求妳的？"
"她求我快點從床下爬出來"
Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠藥
鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫生，醫生給他開了壹些強力安眠藥。
星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床壹點麻煩都沒有。”
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那妳星期壹和星期二到哪兒去了？”
Weather Predict
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.
A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."
天氣預報
壹個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.壹天,壹個印度老人到導演跟前告訴導演說"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.
壹周後,印度人又來告訴導演說,"明天有風暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.
"印度人真神,"導演說.他告訴秘書雇傭該印度人來預報天氣.
幾次預報都很成功.然後,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了.
最後,導演派人去把他叫來了."我明天必須拍壹個很大的場景,"導演說,"這得靠妳了.明天天氣如何啊?"
印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說,"收音機壞了."
Did You Know Him?
At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater. One of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal.
"I sure was!" answered the host. "He's the biggest jerk I've ever met. Did you know him too?"
"Sort of," replied the guest. "My mother married him last Saturday."
妳認識他嗎？
在朋友家的壹次宴會上，主人提起壹位高中時的校友。壹位客人問他讀書期間，某位副校長是否也在職。
“當然了，”主人答道。“他是我見過的最大的混蛋。妳也認識他嗎？”
“有點認識，”客人回答。“我媽媽上周六嫁給了他。”
Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.
"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"
偉大的獵手Jonesie
有個小村莊正為壹只吃人的獅子而煩惱。於是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手Jonesie來殺死這只野獸。
獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子壹直沒有出現。最後，他要求村長殺只羊然後把頭皮給他。把羊皮披在身上後，獵人到草原上去等獅子。
半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近後，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。
“Jonesie，怎麽了？獅子在哪？”村長問。
“哪有獅子！”獵人怒吼道，“哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了？”
First Flight
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?"
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."
第壹次坐飛機
約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機，他讀過許多關於飛行事故的報道。所以，有壹天壹位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時，約翰遜先生非常擔心，不敢接受。不過，由於朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終於被說服了，登上了飛機。
他的朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。
過了壹兩分鐘，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對朋友說道：“看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻壹樣小，是不是？”
“那些就是螞蟻，”他的朋友答道，“我們還在地面上。”