關於名人的英語幽默小故事

1·英語幽默：Second language A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?" 壹只母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步，突然她看見壹只貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。 母老鼠向著貓叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，貓聽了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說：“現在妳知道外語的重要性了吧。” 2· 英語小故事——A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” "I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered. "You're a good boy,” said the mother proudly. “Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?” "She is the one who sells the candy.” 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。 “昨天給妳的錢幹什麽了？” “我給了壹個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “妳真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給妳兩分錢。可妳為什麽對那位老太太那麽感興趣呢？” “她是個賣糖果的。” 2、小學生英語小故事——The Hippo and I A hippo lives in the zoo. I like him very much. I often go to see him. He often thinks of me, too. Today is Sunday. It is fine today. I go to see him again. After I leave the zoo, he follows me to my house. I give him lettuce, cabbages, bananas, apples and other food. He eats them up. When I sing songs, he stays in the pool. He is as quiet as a rabbit. In the evening, he jumps onto my bed with me. My mum tells him to go home. He has to pack his bag and go back to the zoo. My mum lets me see him every week. 河馬住在動物園裏，我很喜歡他。他經常去看它，他也經常想我。 今天是星期日，是個好天氣，我又壹次去看望它。在我離開動物園之後，他跟隨到我的家。我給他萵苣、生菜、香蕉、蘋果和其他食物。他都吃了。 當我唱歌是，它待在水池裏，像兔子壹樣安靜。 晚上，他跳到床上同我睡覺在壹起睡。 媽媽要它回家。它不得不背起包回到動物園。媽媽允許我每周去看它。 3·英語勵誌名人名言 1、All things in their being are good for something. 天生我才必有用。 2、Difficult circumstances serve as a textbook of life for people. 困難坎坷是人們的生活教科書。 3、Failure is the mother of success.——Thomas Paine 失敗乃成功之母。 4、For man is man and master of his fate. 人就是人，是自己命運的主人。 5、The unexamined life is not worth living.——Socrates 混混噩噩的生活不值得過。——蘇格拉底 6、None is of freedom or of life deserving unless he daily conquers it anew.——Era *** us 只有每天再度戰勝生活並奪取自由的人，才配享受生活的自由。 7、Our destiny offers not the cup of despair, but the chalice of opportunity. So let us seize it, not in fear, but in gladness.——R.M. Nixon 命運給予我們的不是失望之酒，而是機會之杯。因此，讓我們毫無畏懼，滿心愉 悅地把握命運。——尼克松 8、Living without an aim is like sailing without a pass.——John Ruskin 生活沒有目標，猶如航海沒有羅盤。-- 羅斯金 9、What makes life dreary is the want of motive.——Gee Eliot 沒有了目的，生活便郁悶無光。——喬治·埃略特 10、Towering genius disdains a beaten path. It seeks regions hitherto unexplored.——Lincoln 卓越的天才不屑走旁人走過的路。他尋找迄今未開拓的地區。 11、There is no such thing as a great talent without great will - power.——Balzac 沒有偉大的意誌力，便沒有雄才大略。——巴爾紮克 12、The good seaman is known in bad weather. 驚濤駭浪，方顯英雄本色。（勵誌名言） 13、Fear not that the life shall e to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning.——J.H. Newman 不要害怕妳的生活將要結束，應該擔心妳的生活永遠不會真正開始。——紐曼 14、Gods determine what you're going to be.——Julius Erving 人生的奮鬥目標決定妳將成為怎樣的人。——歐文 15、An aim in life is the only fortune worth finding.——Robert Louis Stevenson 生活的目標，是唯壹值得尋找的財富。-- 史蒂文森 16、While there is life there is hope. 壹息若存，希望不滅。——英國諺語 17、Try not to bee a man of success but rather try to bee a man of value.——A. Einstein 不要為成功而努力，要為做壹個有價值的人而努力。——愛因斯坦 18、You have to believe in yourself. That's the secret of success.——Charles Chaplin 人必須有自信，這是成功的秘密。——卓別林 19、Pursue your object, be it what it will, steadily and indefatigably. 不管追求什麽目標，都應堅持不懈。 20、We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.——Mattin Luther King 我們必須接受失望，因為它是有限的，但千萬不可失去希望，因為它是無窮的。——馬丁·路德·金 21、Energy and persistence conquer all things.——Benjamin Franklin 能量加毅力可以征服壹切。——富蘭克林 22、Nothing seek, nothing find. 無所求則無所獲。 23、Cease to struggle and you cease to live.——Thomas Carlyle 生命不止，奮鬥不息。——卡萊爾 24、A thousand-li journey is started by taking the first step. 千裏之行，始於足下。　i came home from work one day to find my wife,jolynn,cradling our six-month-old daughter and repeating,"da-da" how sweet,i though to myself,for her to choose daddy as our baby's first word. several weeks later,jhlynn and i were wakened by a *** all voice crying,"da-da".turning over to go back to sleep,my wife said,"she's calling you,dear" 譯：壹天，我下班回家，發覺我的妻子將我們六個月的女兒輕輕放到搖籃裏，而且重復地說著："爸-爸"，呵，多麽甜美，我自忖道，她選擇教會我們的寶貝的第壹個詞是："爸-爸"。 幾個星期後，妻子和我睡得正香，忽然被小小的哭聲給喚醒了，"爸-爸"。。。。我翻個身繼續睡。。妻子說了："親愛的，她正在叫妳呢"。 o men were talking at the office rest room.one was telling the other about a fight he'd with his wife."in the end ,"he said,"i had her begging on her knees." "what did she say？"asked the coworker. she told me to e out from under the bed. 譯：兩人正在休息室談論著。壹位正對另壹位說起與妻子的壹場爭鬥。他說："最後，我終於成功地迫使她跪下來求我" 另壹位很好奇："她怎麽求妳的？" "她求我快點從床下爬出來" sleeping pills bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. he went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. sunday night bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. he took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "i didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "that's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you monday and tuesday?" 安眠藥 鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫生，醫生給他開了壹些強力安眠藥。 星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達進去，對老板說：“我今天早上起床壹點麻煩都沒有。” “好啊!”老板吼道，“那妳星期壹和星期二到哪兒去了？” weather predict a film crew was on location deep in the desert. one day an old indian went up to the director and said, "tomorrow rain." the next day it rained. a week later, the indian went up to the director and said, "tomorrow storm." the next day there was a hailstorm. "this indian is incredible," said the director. he told his secretary to hire the indian to predict the weather. however, after several successful predictions, the old indian didn't show up for o weeks. finally the director sent for him. "i have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and i'm depending on you. what will the weather be like?" the indian shrugged his shoulders. "don't know," he said. "radio is broken." 天氣預報 壹個電影攝制組在沙漠深處工作.壹天,壹個印度老人到導演跟前告訴導演說"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了. 壹周後,印度人又來告訴導演說,"明天有風暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴. "印度人真神,"導演說.他告訴秘書雇傭該印度人來預報天氣. 幾次預報都很成功.然後,接下來的兩周,印度人不見了. 最後,導演派人去把他叫來了."我明天必須拍壹個很大的場景,"導演說,"這得靠妳了.明天天氣如何啊?" 印度人聳了聳肩."我不知道,"印度人說,"收音機壞了." did you know him? at a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool alma mater. one of the guests asked him if he had been a student there at the same time as a particular vice principal. "i sure was!" answered the host. "he's the biggest jerk i've ever met. did you know him too?" "sort of," replied the guest. "my mother married him last saturday." 妳認識他嗎？ 在朋友家的壹次宴會上，主人提起壹位高中時的校友。壹位客人問他讀書期間，某位副校長是否也在職。 “當然了，”主人答道。“他是我見過的最大的 *** 。妳也認識他嗎？” “有點認識，”客人回答。“我媽媽上周六嫁給了他。” jonesie the great lion hunter a *** all village was troubled by a man-eating lion. so its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, jonesie, to e and kill the beast. for several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. in the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks ing from the pasture. as they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. there was no sign of the lion. "what happened, jonesie? where is the lion?" asked the chief. "fet the damn lion!" he howled. "which one of you idiots let the bull loose?" 偉大的獵手jonesie 有個小村莊正為壹只吃人的獅子而煩惱。於是，村長派人去請偉大的獵手jonesie來殺死這只野獸。 獵手躺著等了幾個晚上，但獅子壹直沒有出現。最後，他要求村長殺只羊然後把頭皮給他。把羊皮披在身上後，獵人到草原上去等獅子。 半夜，村民被從草原傳來的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近後，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地 *** 。沒有獅子出沒的蛛絲馬跡。 “jonesie，怎麽了？獅子在哪？”村長問。 “哪有獅子！”獵人怒吼道，“哪個傻瓜把公牛放出來了？” first flight mr. johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own *** all phane, mr. johnson was very worried about accepting. finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and mr. johnson boarded the plane. his friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. mr. johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes. after a minute or o he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "look at those people down there. they look as *** all as ants, don't they?" "those are ants," answered his friend. "we're still on the ground." 第壹次坐飛機 約翰遜先生從前未乘過飛機，他讀過許多關於飛行事故的報道。所以，有壹天壹位朋友邀請他乘自己的小飛機飛行時，約翰遜先生非常擔心，不敢接受。不過，由於朋友不斷保證說飛行是很安全的，約翰遜先生終於被說服了，登上了飛機。 他的朋友啟動引擎開始在機場跑道上滑行。約翰遜先生聽說飛行中最危險的是起飛與降落，所以他嚇得緊閉雙眼。 過了壹兩分鐘，他睜開雙眼朝窗外望去，接著對朋友說道：“看下面那些人，他們看起來就象螞蟻壹樣小，是不是？” “那些就是螞蟻，”他的朋友答道，“我們還在地面上。”