英語笑話及中文翻譯：Now I have two skunks in there
"We have a skunk***臭鼬*** in the basement," shrieked***尖叫*** the caller to the policedispatcher***排程員***. "How can we get it out?"
"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."
Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.
"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"
“我們的地下室裏有壹只臭鼬，”打電話的人對警察排程員尖叫道。“我們怎樣才能把它弄出來?”
“弄壹些面包屑，”排程員說;“從地下室往外鋪壹條小道直到後院。然後將地下室的門開啟。”
壹段時間後，那人又打電話打了回來。“妳們將它弄出來了嗎?”排程員問他。
“沒有，”打電話的人答道，“現在那兒有兩只臭鼬了。”
英語笑話及中文翻譯：Whose plate it is 誰的盤子
Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"
Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."
客人：“為什麽妳的狗狗坐在那兒老是看著我吃東西呢?”
旅館主人：“我不敢想象，除非是因為妳拿了它經常用來吃東西的盤子了。”
英語笑話及中文翻譯：I want to know you 我想認識妳
Boy: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Girl: "It's in the phone book."
Boy: "But I don't know your name."
Girl: "That's in the phone book too."
男：我想給妳打電話。妳的電話號碼是多少?
女：在電話本上呢。
男：可是我不知道妳的名字呀。
女：也在電話本上呢。
英語笑話及中文翻譯：He's shaving you 他正在給妳刮胡須
Stopping in an unfamiliar barber shop for a shave, a young playboy took a fancy to themanicure***修指甲*** gril and suggested dinner and a show that evening.
The girl demurred***反對，抗辯***," I don't think I ought to, I'm married."
"Why don't you ask your hu *** and," the playboy suggested." I'm sure he wouldn't object."
"You can ask him yourself ," the girl srugged, "He's shaving you."
壹位年輕的 *** 在壹家不熟悉的理發店裏刮胡須，他很喜歡修指甲的女郎，於是提議哪天晚上去吃晚餐和看表演。
女郎猶豫著說：“我覺得我不應該去，我結過婚了。”
“妳何不問問妳先生，” *** 建議說：“我確定他不會反對的。”
“妳可以自己問他，”女郎聳聳肩道，“他正在替妳刮胡須。”
英語笑話及中文翻譯：A Stubborn Horse 倔強的馬
The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it pleted and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly began reading it aloud:
General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript. There's nothing here but 500 pages of giddyaps! he exclaimed.
Stubborn horse, explained the writer.
大作家瘋了，但現在似乎還有恢復的希望。六個月以來，他都坐在打字機旁用力地敲壹部小說。終於，他宣稱書已寫好並把它拿到精神病醫生那裏。醫生急切地大聲朗讀起來：
“傑克遜將軍跨上他的忠實的馬，喊道：‘駕，駕，駕，駕……’”醫生翻了翻剩下的手稿。“五百頁紙竟全是‘駕，駕’!”他驚奇地說。
“是匹倔強的馬，”作家解釋道。