A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"
新發現
壹個鄉下人第壹次到大城市遊逛。他走進壹座大樓，看見壹個歲數很大的矮胖女人邁進壹個小房間。房間的門隨後關上，有幾個燈在閃亮。壹會兒，門開了，電梯裏走出壹位年青漂亮的女模特。
鄉下人驚奇地眨著眼睛，慢吞吞地說：“我應該把我的老婆帶來!”
Prepare Yourself
A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
己做好準備
校園裏流傳著這樣的故事：壹個學生壹次給父母拍了壹份電報，上面寫著：“媽媽－我所有功課都不及格，被學校開除。讓爸爸做好準備。”
兩天以後，他收到了回電：“爸爸已準備好。妳自己做好準備吧!”
Part-time Job
When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.
"How was your first day?" I asked.
"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."
Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"
"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"
業余工作
我兒子在壹所中學讀二年級時，在壹家超級市場找到了壹份包裝商品的業余工作。他滿面笑容地回到了家。
“第壹天感覺如何？”我問。
|“好極了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟許多漂亮的女孩子講了話。”
由於斯蒂芬不善言談，我問道：“妳跟他們說了些什麽？”
“妳是喜歡紙包裝還是塑料包裝？
Difference
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
區 別
“研究生班和本科生很容易就能區別開來，”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學給我們研究生上工程學課的老師如此說。“我說‘下午好’，本科生們回答說‘下午好’。研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上。”
keep the change
One sweltering day, I was scooping ice cream into cones and told my four children they could "buy" a cone from me for a hug. Almost immediately, the kids lined up to make their purchases. The three youngest each gave me a quick hug, grabbed their cones and raced back outside. But when my teen-age son at the end of the line finally got his turn to "buy" his ice cream, he gave me two hugs. "Keep the changes," he said with a smile.
不用找了
有壹天天氣悶熱，我將冰淇淋舀進錐筒，告訴我的四個小孩，他們可以從我這裏用擁抱“購買”壹筒。於是，孩子們馬上排起了隊來購買。較小的三個孩子每人很快的抱了我壹下，抓過冰淇淋筒就跑到外面去了。最後輪到排在隊尾十年的大兒子來“買”冰淇淋時，他擁抱了我二下。“不用找了，”他笑著說。
Bedtime Prayers
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said. "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replyed, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
睡前禱告詞
朱莉葉在做睡前禱告。“上帝，求求妳，”她說，“讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都吧。”
媽媽打斷她的話說：“朱莉葉，為什麽求上帝讓那不勒斯成為意大利的首都呢？”
朱莉葉回答道：“因為我在地理考卷上是這樣寫的。”
That's Why
Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he was already very good at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of money for them. They said, "This boy's going to be famous when he's little older, and then we're going to sell these pictures for a lot more money."
Jimmy's pictures were different from other people's because he never painted on all of the paper. He painted on half of it, and the other half was always empty.
"That's very clever," everyone said, "Nobody else does that!"
One day somebody bought one of Jimmy's pictures and then said to him, "Please tell me this, Jimmy. Why do you paint on the bottom half of your pictures, but not on the top half?"
"Because I'm small," Jimmy said, "and my burshes don't reach very high."
原來如此
吉米三歲開始畫畫，五歲時已經畫得很好了。他畫了很多美麗而有趣的畫，人們出高價購買。他們說，“這個孩子長大壹點肯定會出名，我們可以靠這些畫大賺壹筆。”
吉米的畫與眾不同。因為他從來不在整張紙上作畫。他只畫壹半的紙，而另壹半他總空著。
“構思多麽巧妙啊!”大家都說，“從來沒有人這麽做過。”
有壹天，壹個人買了吉米的畫，然後問他：“請告訴我，吉米，妳為什麽總是在紙的下半部分畫畫，而不是在紙的上半部分？”
吉米說，“因為我個頭小，夠不著上面。”