Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師: 這兒有兩只鳥,壹只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀嗎?
學生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老師:請說說看。
學生:燕子旁邊的就是麻雀,麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
2. The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
魚網
"妳能告訴我魚網是什麽做的嗎,安?" 老師發問道。
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在壹起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。
3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老師
9月1日, 喬治放學回到家裏。
"喬治,妳喜歡妳們的新老師嗎?" 媽媽問。
"媽媽,我不喜歡,因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。"
4. A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
壹次物理考試
在壹次物理考試時,當同學們都還在苦思冥想時,尼克很快就答好了第壹個問題。
這個問題是:為什麽在打雷時,我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲?
尼克的回答是:因為眼睛在前,耳朵在後。
5.the lowest grade
"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero."
"Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give."
最低分
學生:“教授先生,我這次考試已經竭盡全力了。我真的覺得我不應該得零蛋。”
老師:“我也是。但是這已經是我能給的最低分了!”
6.Real Play
When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater's current production and write a critique. After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: "The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television."
逼真的戲劇
我在北達科他州立大學教戲劇入門課時,要求學生們去看學校劇團當時的演出,並寫壹篇評論。看了壹場極為精彩的演出後,壹名學生寫道:“這部戲劇是如此逼真,以致於我認為我自己是坐在家裏的沙發上,從電視上看到的。” [nextpage]
7.the chemical formula for water
Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the ?
Blonde: "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!
水的分子式
老師:水的分子式是什麽?
花瓶:HIJKLMNO!!
老師:妳在說什麽?
花瓶:昨天妳不是說H to O嗎?
8.Prepare Yourself
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
自己做好準備
校園裏流傳著這樣的故事:壹個學生壹次給父母拍了壹份電報,上面寫著:“媽媽-我所有功課都不及格,被學校開除。讓爸爸做好準備。”
兩天以後,他收到了回電:“爸爸已準備好。妳自己做好準備吧!” 9 a pig and a dog are walking on the road,pig says:i am a pig.
dog says:yes! you are a pig!
夠短小吧? 夠簡單不? 沒有比這更簡單更搞笑的了 咱要的就是這種冷幽默的效果啊 是不