幽默的英語笑話短文（精選11篇）
在繁忙的學習工作中，適時讀壹些幽默笑話，放松自己，勞逸結合十分重要。下面是我整理的幽默的英語笑話短文（精選11篇），希望大家喜歡！
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇1
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."
壹個外科醫生正要作壹個腦移植手術。
“妳可以從兩個腦子中選壹個給妳。”醫生告訴病人，“壹個心理學家的大腦1000美元，壹個政治家的大腦10000美元。
病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的.差別，“政治家的大腦好壹些嗎?”他問。
醫生說：“不是好壹些，只是沒有用過。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇2Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
邁克：媽媽，我想看電視。
媽媽：今晚停電了。
邁克：那我們就點著蠟燭看吧。
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇3The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"妳能告訴我魚網是什麽做的嗎，安?" 老師發問道。
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在壹起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇4Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給妳的錢幹什麽了?”
“我給了壹個可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “妳真是個好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說。“再給妳兩分錢。可妳為什麽對那位老太太那麽感興趣呢?”
“她是個賣糖果的。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇5I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
“我們有毒嗎?”壹個年幼的蛇問它的母親。
“是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“妳問這個幹什麽?”
“因為我剛剛咬破自己的舌頭。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇6It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back.Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her,however,she had scrambled up.Gaining her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕壹趟火車。接近門口，壹位肥胖的中年婦女從後面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了壹下，對我擠了壹下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在妳腳下嗎?”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇7-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody.What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。
-- 他真是壹個大人物。幹什麽的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇8Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the money.They are real US dollars.They are directly from America."
壹位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到壹家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每壹張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最後實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請妳相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇9Mrs.Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs.Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs.Brown:It's no use,my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!
史密斯夫人：可是妳該在報紙上登廣告啊!
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇10—Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
-- 服務員， 這個龍蝦只有壹只爪。
-- 對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。
-- 哦， 那給我那個打贏的吧。九十歲了。每當要搬東西，擡東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的幹吧。”
幽默的英語笑話短文 篇11teacher:here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.now who can tell us which is which?
student:i cannot point out but i know the answer.
teacher:please tell us.
student:the swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
;