簡單經典英語美文篇壹
Funny or not?
Whether we find a joke funny or not largely depends on where we have been brought up. The sense of humour is mysteriously bound up with national characteristics. A Frenchman, for instance, might find it hard to laugh at a Russian joke. In the same way, a Russian might fail to see anything amusing in a joke which would make an Englishman laugh to tears.
Most funny stories are based on comic situations. In spite of national differences, certain funny situations have a universal appeal. No matter where you live, you would find it difficult not to laugh at, say, Charlie Chaplin's early films. However, a new type of humour, which stems largely from America, has recently come into fashion. It is cal1ed' sick humour '. Comedians base their jokes on tragic situations like violent death or serious accidents. Many people find this sort of joke distasteful. The following example of 'sick humour' will enable you to judge for yourself.
A man who had broken his right leg was taken to hospital a few weeks before Christmas. From the moment he arrived there, he kept on pestering his doctor to tell him when he would be able to go home. He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital. Though the doctor did his best, the patient's recovery was slow. On Christmas day, the man still had his right leg in plaster. He spent
a miserable day in bed thinking of all the fun he was missing. The following day, however, the doctor consoled him by telling him that his chances of being able to leave hospital in time for New Year celebrations were good. The man took heart and, sure enough, on New Year's Eve he was able to hobble along to a party. To compensate for his unpleasant experiences in hospital, the man drank a little more than was good for him. In the process, he enjoyed himself thoroughly and kept telling everybody how much he hated hospitals. He was still mumbling something about hospitals at the end of the party when he slipped on a piece of ice and broke his left leg.
我們覺得壹則笑話是否好笑，很大程度取決於我們是在哪兒長大的。幽默感與民族有著神秘莫測的聯系。譬如，法國人聽完壹則俄國笑話可能很難發笑。同樣的道理，壹則可以令英國人笑出淚來的笑話，俄國人聽了可能覺得沒有什麽可笑之處。
大部分令人發笑的 故事 都是根據喜劇情節編寫的。盡管民族不同，有些滑稽的情節卻能產生普遍的效果。比如說，不管妳生活在哪裏，妳看查理.卓別林的早期電影很難不發笑。然而，近來壹種新式幽默流行了起來，這種幽默主要來自美國。它被叫作?病態幽默?。喜劇演員根據悲劇情節諸如暴死，重大事故等來編造笑話。許多人認為這種笑話是低級庸俗的。下面是個?病態幽默?的實例，妳可據此自己作出判斷。
聖誕節 前幾周，某人摔斷了右腿被送進醫院。從他進醫院那壹刻時，他就纏住醫生，讓醫生告訴他什麽時候能回家。他十分害怕在醫院過聖誕。盡管醫生竭力醫治，但病人恢復緩慢。聖誕節那天，他的右腿還上著石膏，他在床上郁郁不樂地躺了壹天，想著他錯過的種種歡樂。然而，第二天，醫生安慰他說，出院歡度新年的可能性還是很大的，那人聽後振作了精神。果然， 除夕 時他可以壹瘸壹拐地去參加晚會了。為了補償住院這壹段不愉快的經歷，那人喝得稍許多了壹點。在晚會上他盡情娛樂，壹再告訴大家他是多麽討厭醫院。晚會結束時，他嘴裏還在嘟噥著醫院的事，突然踩到壹塊冰上滑倒了，摔斷了左腿。
簡單經典英語美文篇二
The death of a ghost
For years villagers believed that Endley farm was haunted. The farm was owned by two brothers, Joe and Bert Cox. They employed a few farm hands, but no one was willing to work there long. Every time a worker gave up his job, he told the same story. Farm labourers said that they always woke up to find the work had been done overnight. Hay had been cut and cow sheds had been cleaned. A farm worker, who stayed up all night, claimed to have seen a figure cutting corn in the
moonlight. In time, it became an accepted fact that the Cox brothers employed a conscientious ghost that did most of their work for them.
No one suspected that there might be someone else on the farm who had never been seen. This was indeed the case. A short time ago, villagers were astonished to learn that the ghost of Endley had died. Everyone went to the funeral, for the 'ghost' was none other than Eric Cox, a third brother who was supposed to have died as a young man. After the funeral, Joe and Bert revealed
a secret which they had kept for over forty years. Eric had been the eldest son of the family. He had been obliged to join the army during the first World War. As he hated army life he decided to desert his regiment. When he learnt that he would be sent abroad, he returned to the farm and his farther hid him until the end of the war. Fearing the authorities, Eric remained in hiding after the war as well. His father told everybody that Eric had been killed in action. The only other people who knew the secret were Joe and Bert. They did not even tell their wives. When their father died, they thought it their duty to keep Eric in hiding. All these years, Eric had lived as a recluse(隱遁者, 寂寞者). He used to sleep during the day and work at night, quite unaware of the fact that he had become the ghost of Endley. When he died, however, his brothers found it impossible to keep the secret any longer.
多年來，村民們壹直認為恩得利農場在鬧鬼。恩得利農場屬於喬.考科斯和鮑勃.考科斯兄弟倆所有。他們雇了幾個農工，但誰也不願意在那兒長期工作下去。每次雇工辭職後都敘述著同樣的故事。雇工們說，常常壹早起來發現有人在夜裏把活幹了，幹草已切好，牛棚也打掃幹凈了。有壹個徹夜未眠的雇工還聲稱他看見壹個人影在月光下收割莊稼。隨著時間的流逝，考科斯兄弟雇了壹個盡心盡責的鬼，他們家的活大部分都讓鬼給幹了，這件事成了公認的事實。
誰也沒想到農場竟會有壹個從未露面的人。但事實上確有此人。不久之前，村民們驚悉恩得利農場的鬼死了。大家都去參加了葬禮，因為那?鬼?不是別人，正是農場主的兄弟埃裏克.考科斯。人們以為埃裏克年輕時就死了。葬禮之後，喬和鮑勃透露了他們保守了長達50多年的秘密。
埃裏克是這家長子。年齡比他兩個弟弟大很多，第二次世界大戰期間被迫參軍。他討厭軍旅生活，決定逃離所在部隊。當他了解自己將被派遣 出國 時，他逃回農場，父親把他藏了起來，直到戰爭結束。由於害怕當局，埃裏克戰後繼續深藏不露。他的父親告訴大家，埃裏克在戰爭中被打死了。除此之外，只有喬與鮑知道這個秘密。但他倆連自己的妻子都沒告訴。父親死後，他們兄弟倆認為有責任繼續把埃裏克藏起來。這些年來，埃裏克過著隱士生活，白天睡覺，夜裏出來幹活，壹點不知道自己已成了恩得利家場的活鬼。他死後，他的弟弟們才覺得無法再保守這個秘密了。
簡單經典英語美文篇三
The double life of Alfred Bloggs
These days, people who do manual work often receive far more money than clerks who work in offices. People who work in offices are frequently referred to as' white collar workers' for the simple reason that they usually wear a collar and tie to go to work. Such is human nature, that a great many people are often willing to sacrifice higher pay for the privilege of becoming white collar workers. This can give rise to curious situations, as it did in the case of Alfred Bloggs who worked as a dustman for the Ellesmere Corporation.
When he got married, Alf was too embarrassed to say anything to his wife about his job. He simply told her that he worked for the Corporation. Every morning, he left home dressed in a smart black suit. He then changed into overalls (n.工作服) and spent the next eight hours as a dustman. Before returning home at night, he took a shower and changed back into his suit. Alf did this for over two years and his fellow dustmen kept his secret. Alf's wife has never discovered that she married a dustman and she never will, for Alf has just found another job. He will soon be working in an office as a junior clerk. He will be earning only half as much as he used to, but he feels that his rise in status is well worth the loss of money. From now on, he will wear a suit all day and others will call him 'Mr. Bloggs', not 'Alf'.
如今，從事體力勞動的人的收入壹般要比坐辦公室的人高出許多。坐辦公室的之所以常常被稱作?白領工人?，就是因為他們通常是穿著硬領白襯衫，系著領帶去上班。許多人常常情願放棄較高的薪水以換取做白領工人的殊榮，此乃人之常情。而這常常會引起種種奇怪的現象，在埃爾斯米爾公司當清潔工的艾爾弗雷德.布洛斯就是壹個例子。
艾爾弗結婚時，感到非常難為情，而沒有將自己的職業告訴妻子。他只說在埃爾斯米爾公司上班。每天早晨，他穿上壹身漂亮的黑色西裝離家上班，然後換上工作服，當8個小時清潔工。晚上回家前，他洗個淋浴，重新換上那身黑色西服。兩年多以來，艾爾弗壹直這樣，他的同事也為他保守秘密。艾爾弗的妻子壹直不知道她嫁給了壹個清潔工，而且她永遠也不會知道了，因為艾爾弗已找到薪職，不久就要坐辦公室裏工作了。他將來掙的錢只有他現在的壹半。不過他覺得，地位升高了，損失點兒錢也值得。從此，艾爾弗可以壹天到晚穿西服了。別人將稱呼他為?布洛格斯先生?，而不再叫他?艾爾弗?了。