老王在樹下休息，老李走過來對他說：“嗨，為什麽不去上山砍柴？” 老王說：“砍柴幹什麽？” 老李說：“好賣錢啊。賣到錢就可以買驢，再沿家挨戶賣柴。掙了錢就再 買卡車，然後買木廠賣木 器，再買更多的卡車，那樣就可以發大財了。” 老王問：“發了財幹什麽？” 老李答：“發了財就可 以逍遙自在地享清福嘛。” 老王說：“那妳以為我現在在幹什麽？”
1, round and round
Lao wang rested under the tree, Lao li came up and said, "hey, why not go up the hill cutting wood?" Pharaoh said: "cut wood stem what?" Lao li said: "good money! Sold into money can buy a donkey, then along home door-to-door selling wood. Zheng money will buy trucks, and then buy wood factory sells wooden ware, buy more trucks, so that you can be really rich." The old king: "fortune"? Lao li answer: "fortune can be to free and unfettered freely do well." Pharaoh said, "that you think I doing now?"
2、甲魚風波
甲魚又叫團魚或鱉，俗稱王八。味鮮美，價昂貴。“吃的不買，買的不吃”， 實乃高級禮品，公關醜 星。 某鄉派數人攜眾鱉入城進貢。因其重量不同，又須按“職”分配，為免差錯計，故將官 號寫於紙上，貼於鱉背。 ……至機關幹部住宅樓前，天已晚。不料竹簍傾覆，眾甲魚乘暮色爭相逃命，鄉人壹片 驚呼：“趙局長”跑啦!——那個塊頭最大的。 快抓住“錢處長”——小心它咬手。 那墻角裏黑乎乎的，莫非是“孫科長”?“李秘書”個頭小，爬得快，怕是找不到了。
2, turtle storm
Turtle and call TuanYu or turtle, commonly known as the tortoise. Taste delicious, the price is expensive. "Eat not to buy, buy the do not eat", solid senior gifts, pr ugly stars. MouXiang sent several people join the turtle into town tribute. Because of its different weights, and must according to "responsibility" distribution, in order to avoid mistakes plan, therefore, JiangGuan written in paper, stick at turtle's back. ... To government cadres residential against the building, it is late. Behold, all the turtle piggy overthrown by the dusk scramble to flee for life, XiangRen a exclaimed, "zhao chief" run! The bigger the biggest. - Catch "money director" - be careful it bites the hand. The corner of the mariposa rushed, murphy is "Samson section chief"? "Secretary li"'s smaller, climb quickly, afraid that I can't find it.
3、遲了
在地鐵裏，壹位男子發現扒手正在掏他的錢包，便幽默地說： “老兄，妳來晚了！我今天雖然領 了薪水，但我太太下手比妳快 多了！”
3, late
In the subway, a man found pickpocket is cutting his wallet, and humorously said: "man, you came to night! I today although took salary, but my wife lay more quickly than you!"
4、情書
小夥子在給女朋友的信中寫到：“愛妳愛得如此之深， 以至願為妳赴湯蹈火。星期六如不下雨，我壹定來。
4, love letter
Guy in the letters to his girlfriend wrote: "love your love so much, that would like to give you go through hell. On Saturday as it does not rain, I'll come.
5、無理抱怨
兩個人壹起吃飯，只有兩條魚，壹大壹小。壹位先把大 的吃了，另壹位勃然大怒。”多不合適！”他抱怨說。”怎 麽了？”另壹位問。”妳吃掉了那條大的，如果我是妳就不 會這樣做。””妳會怎 樣呢？””我當然是先吃小的。”” 那好哇，妳抱怨什麽，那條小魚不是還在那裏嗎！”
5 and irrational complain
Two people eat together, only two fish, a great and a small. A first big eat, another flew into a rage. "Not more suitable!" He complains. "How yao?" Another asked. "You ate that big, if I were you, I would not do so." "How would you like?" "Of course I is first eat small." "That good, you complained, the fish is still there!"
6、為您保密
甲：”這件事我只告訴妳壹人，請妳千萬為我保密。" 乙：”放心，不但我要為妳保密，我還要告訴大家都來為妳保密。”
6, for your confidential
A: "this matter I just tell you one person, you must the secret for me." B: "trust, not only I want secret for you, I will tell everybody to be secret for you."
7、擦玻璃
父親走進兒子的房間，誇獎道：幹得好，兒子！窗戶又幹凈又明亮，妳是用肥皂水擦的嗎？ 兒子：沒有，爸爸，我用的是錘子。
7, wipe glass
Father entered the son's room, praise, way: well done, son! The window and clean and bright, you are using soap water wipe? Son: no, dad, I am using a sledgehammer.
8、開學
小學開學了，剛滿6歲的冬冬不肯到學校上學。媽媽向冬冬解釋，小朋友滿6歲就要去上學，壹直到15歲。最後冬冬終於在書桌前坐下來，滿含熱淚地問：等我15歲的時候，您會記得來接我嗎？
8, opening
Elementary school begins, just over 6 years old of winter winter will not come to school. Mother to dongdong explanation, children with 6 years old shall go to school, until 15 years old. Last winter winter finally before desk sat down and full of tears to ask: when I was 15, you will remember pick me up?