There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat.
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"
小男孩
有壹個小男孩很喜歡吸自己的手指頭，媽媽多次制止無效後，嚇唬他說：“如果妳繼續這樣吸手指頭，妳會變得非常胖非常胖的！”
兩周以後，媽媽的幾個朋友過來找媽媽大牌，有位孕婦，小男孩看到後突然大笑：“哈哈，我知道妳為什麽會成這個樣子！”
Health Checkup
An old couple goes the doctor, just to check their general health. The husband goes in first and the doctor says: "Well, Mr. Jones, you are in a perfect shape considering your age".
And the man says: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke and the good Lord takes care of me".
At which point the doctor seems puzzled and says: "What do you mean?".
The old man replies: "For example, last night I had to go to the toilet and God switched on the light for me, so that I wouldn't fall down."
The doctor doesn't understand and asks the man to go out and let his wife in. The woman enters the room and the doctor visits her and says: "You are in a perfect shape, considering your age".
At which the woman replies: "Sure I am: I don't drink, I don't smoke..."
The doctor interrupts her: "... and the good Lord takes care of you, doesn't He?".
"The woman looks puzzled: "What are you talking about?".
The doctor explains: "Your husband told me. He says the good Lord looks after him. Like last night, when he was in the toilet and God switched on the light for him so that he wouldn't fall".
The woman replies: "Good Lord, he peed in the fridge again!"
健康檢查
壹對老夫婦去醫院做健康檢查，老先生先進去，醫生說：“照妳的年齡來看，妳的身體狀況不錯。”
老先生說：“那是當然，我不抽煙不喝酒，而且上帝也特別關心我。”
醫生很詫異，說：“上帝也很關心妳是什麽意思
老先生解釋道：“比如，昨天晚上我上廁所，上帝害怕我會摔倒所以幫我把燈打開了。”
醫生不是很明白，於是他把老太太叫進來做檢查，檢查完後，醫生說：“找妳的年齡來看，妳的健康狀況也相當不錯。”
老太太說：“是啊，我不抽煙也不喝酒 ...”
醫生接著說：“而且上帝也很關心妳？”
老太太很驚訝：“什麽？”
醫生解釋道：“剛才我問您先生，他說上帝很關心他，比如昨天晚上，他上廁所上帝主動幫他把燈打開了。”
老太太說：“天哪，他昨天又在冰箱裏尿尿了！”
www.qicaipan.com 這個網站上還有好多，我也沒有全看，但是是專門的兒童網站上的小笑話，應該沒有兒童不宜的東西。