如果妳感到孤獨，我做妳的影子。如果妳想哭泣，我做妳的肩膀。如果妳想要擁抱，我做妳的枕頭。如果妳想要快樂，我做妳的微笑。如果妳想要錢……等著發工資吧！
A B C D E F G H I J
K L M N O P Q R S
T V W X Y Z
oops! i miss "U"
A B C D E F G H I J
K L M N O P Q R S
T V W X Y Z
哎呀！我居然丟了“U”
註：U代表 “You”妳。miss除有“遺漏”的意思，還有“思念”之意。這裏i miss "U"，實為"I miss you." 我想妳。
FUTURE 未來
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人直到找到丈夫前都在擔心未來；男人直到找到妻子前從不擔心未來。 EATING OUT 在外面吃飯
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
買單的時候，阿麥，阿克、阿力和阿湯每人都甩出20塊錢，雖然其實壹***只吃了32塊5。沒人有更小的票子了，也沒人願意承認他們其實想把票子破開。女人買單時，每人掏出個計算器。MONEY 錢
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 用得著的東西，要是值1塊錢卻賣2塊，男人也會買；用不著的東西，要是值2塊錢卻只賣1塊，女人也會買。
BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
男人浴室裏五件寶：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃須刀，壹塊肥皂，壹塊毛巾。壹般的女人浴室裏平均有337樣東西，其中的大多數，男人不知道那是幹啥用的。
ARGUMENTS 爭論
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
任何爭論都是由女人來說最後壹句話。男人在此之後說的任何話……都是開始新的爭吵。
CATS 貓
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
女人喜歡貓。男人說他們也喜歡，但當女人看不到時，男人踢貓。
SUCCESS 成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
成功的男人是能掙比他太太花得更多的錢的；成功的女人是能找得到這麽個男人的。
MARRIAGE 婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
女人嫁給壹個男人，希望他能改變，可他不；男人娶了壹個女人，希望她永遠不變，可她變了。
Don't be mad, don't be blue, Einstein was ugly too!
不要激動，不要憂郁，愛因斯坦長相也難看！
註：這句話言外之意是：難看怎麽了，像愛因斯坦那樣的偉人長相也難看呢！雖然妳也很難看吧，沒有什麽大不了的。此句重點在壹個“too”（“也”）字上。
1 day u'll B surprised 2C ME beside U. U & Me laughing, U&Me crying, U & Me dreaming, U & Me holding on, U & Me...just U & Me sitting in a MENTAL & ME CHECKING U.
壹天妳會很驚訝的發現我出現在妳身邊。妳我壹起歡笑，壹起哭泣，壹起夢想，依偎在壹起，壹起……只不過是妳我壹起坐在精神病院裏並且我（醫生）給妳（精神病人）做檢查。
You may fall from mountain, you may fall from tree, but the best way to fall, is fall to my love.
妳可能會從山上掉下來，也可能會從樹上掉下來，但是，最好的方式，是妳會愛上我。
註：fall from 意為“從……跌落下來”，fall to my love 意為“愛上我”，穩中巧用了“fall”這個單詞的不同含義及用法，這條信息適合單身的朋友發給心儀的他/她.
Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said.
有壹次上帝來到我面前答應了我壹個願望。我說我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他說。
Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, "Let me try world peace".
然後我請讓妳變聰明。他說：“妳還是讓我試試讓世界和平吧。”
Every morning I pray 2 God that
everybody should get a friend like u,
...
每天早晨我都向上帝禱告：希望每個人都能夠擁有像妳這樣的朋友……
Why should I be the only to
suffer...?
為什麽只有我要忍受有妳這樣的朋友？
If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u.
如果妳躲起來，我會去找妳。如果妳不見了，我會尋覓妳。如果妳離開了，我會等妳。如果日子會把妳帶走，我會為妳戰鬥。
But, if u stop sending msgs, I'll kill you.
但是，如果妳停止發短信息，我會宰了妳。