Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
醫生懂得多
壹個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比妳懂得多."
2:英:
You can't go without me
The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
譯:
沒有我妳們走不了
公***汽車上很擁擠.壹位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.
"餵,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.
"車太擠了,妳最好坐下壹輛"車上的壹位乘客對他說.
"但是沒有我妳們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.
3:Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
壹天，父親與小兒子壹道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麽事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什麽意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“妳瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麽我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有壹個警察呀！”
4:Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裏沒有奶酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了壹會兒，他拿著壹片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子裏。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴裏說：“孩子，妳的眼睛就是比妳媽媽的好。妳在哪裏找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。
5:Dear white, something you got to know
When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black.
When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?
親愛的白種人，有幾件事妳必須知道。 當我出生時，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時，我是黑色的我害怕時，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當我死了，我仍是黑色的。妳---白種人，當妳出生時，妳是粉紅色的。妳長大了，變成白色的。妳在陽光下，妳是紅色的。妳寒冷時，妳是青色的。妳害怕時，妳是黃色的。妳生病時，妳是綠色的。當妳死時，妳是灰色的。而妳，卻叫我「有色人種」？
6：Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看壹些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。
那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”
哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
7：How Many Rabbits?
Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?
Jonathan: Nine, sir.
Teacher: Nine?
Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.
多少只兔子？
老師：好，喬納森，假如我給妳三只兔子，第二天我又給妳五只，妳壹***有多少只兔子？
喬納森：壹***有九只，先生。
老師：九只？
喬納森：先生，我本來就有壹只。
8：These Are My Jeans
After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．
“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”
Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”
那是我的褲子!
壹個婦女在減肥壹段時間後自我感覺特別好——特別是當她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了。”她丈夫看了她好壹會兒，然後說：“親愛的，我愛妳。但那是我的褲子。”
9：The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝嗇鬼請客
壹個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請壹次客了。他在向壹個朋友解釋怎麽找到他家時說：“妳上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用妳的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用妳的腳把門推開。”
“為什麽要用我的肘和腳呢？”
“妳的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，妳總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。
10：All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"
"I'm the people. All I do is pay."
我要做的壹切就是付錢
布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象壹個國家壹樣。我妻子
是財政部長。我嶽母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”
“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那妳的職務是什麽呢？”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的壹切就是付錢。”