“ May I speak to your parents? ”
“ They''re busy. ”
“ Oh. Is anybody else there? ”
“ The police. ”
“ Can I speak to them? ”
“ They''re busy. ”
“ Oh. Is anybody else there? ”
“ The firemen. ”
“ Can I speak to them? ”
“ They''re busy. ”
“ So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they''re all busy? What are they doing? ”
“ Looking for me. ”
有壹天，電話鈴響了，和壹個小男孩回答。“我可以和妳父母說話？““他們很忙。““哦。是還有其他人嗎？““警察。““我可以和他們說話嗎？““他們很忙。““哦。是還有其他人嗎？““消防隊員。““我可以和他們說話嗎？““他們很忙。““請直接告訴我——妳的父母，警察，和消防員都在妳家，但他們都忙？他們正在做什麽？““找我。“
It depends——看情況而定
One day a doctor went to a store and bought a pair of shoes. Before he left the shoes counter, he asked the salesgirl: " How long will this pair of shoes last?" 壹天，壹位醫生到鞋店買了雙鞋。他在離開櫃臺之前，問售貨員：“這雙鞋能穿多長時間？”
"It depends. If you don t use it, the shoes will never wear out."“看情況而定。如果您不穿它，那它們永遠也不會壞。”
Several days later the salesgirl fell ill and went to a hospital. And the happened to be the
customer she served. After the girl got the prescription from the doctor, she asked: "How soon will I get better with the medicine?"幾天後，這位售貨員病了，去醫院看病。這位醫生碰巧是那位顧客。 當售貨員拿了處方後，問道：“吃了這藥，我的病多長時間才能好呀？”
"It depends. " The doctor answered, "If you don t use it, you will never get better. “看情況而定。”醫生說，“如果妳不吃藥，妳的病永遠也好不了。”
Police Officer Fang is a generous man.One day he saw a small girl standing in the street.She was crying and tears were rolling down her face.
"Hello,"he said to her,"and what's your problem?"
The small girl looked up at him through her tears.
"I've lost my money,"she said.
"Oh dear!"Police Officer Fang said."And how did you do that?"
"My purse fell out of my pocket,"the small girl said."It had all my money in it."
And she continued crying.
"It's all right,"Police Officer Fang said."Don't worry.It's not the end of the world.Tell me how much money was in your purse."
"Ten dollars,"the small girl said.
The generous policeman took out his wallet.He opened it,took ten dollars and gave it to the girl.
"Here you are,"he said."Here's ten dollars.Now you can stop crying."
But instead of stopping crying,the small girl cried even louder.
"Now what's the matter?"Police Officer Fang said.
"I wish I'd said I'd lost forty dollars"The small girl replied.
so cute,isn't it?
警察方是壹個慷慨的人。壹天，他看見壹個小女孩站在街上。她哭了，眼淚順著她的臉流下來。“餵，”他說，“妳的問題是什麽？”小女孩擡頭看著他通過她的眼淚。“我丟了我的錢，”她說。哎呀。警察方說。“妳怎麽做到的？”“我的錢包我的口袋裏掉出來的，”小女孩說。“我的錢都在裏面。”她繼續哭泣。“沒事，”警官方說。“別擔心。這不是世界末日。告訴我妳的錢包裏有多少錢。”“十美元，”小女孩說。慷慨的警察拿出錢包。他打開它，拿出十美元給這個女孩。“給妳，”他說。“這是十美元。現在，您可以停止哭泣。”而停止哭泣，小女孩哭得更大聲了。現在告訴我是怎麽回事呢。警察方說。“我希望我說的話，我已經輸了四十美元，”小女孩回答道。很可愛，不是嗎？
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
壹男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 壹百萬美元對妳意味著多少?"上帝回答:"壹便士."男子又問:"那壹百萬年呢?"上帝說:"壹秒鐘."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到壹便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過壹秒鐘."
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫院裏碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第壹個男人說:"恭喜,妳得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了壹會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,妳得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,妳得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞墻.他們問他有什麽不對勁,他回答道:"什麽不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
Once upon a time ,a stupid guy went to the doctor's.
"What's the matter with you",asked the doctor.
"I have been broken all!",said the fool .
"Broken all,what's it mean?",the doctor was surprised.
Then,the fool pointed to his head and said:"Ouch!There is something wrong with my head."after that,he pointed to his back and said :"ouch,my back hurt."then,he touch his nose and said:"ouch,my nose hurt"……
The doctor thought a while and said :"you have a bad finger"
從前，有個傻瓜去看醫生。那醫生問他有什麽病。那傻瓜說他全身傷了。那醫生很疑惑。接著，那傻瓜用手指著頭說：“很痛，我的頭傷了。”接著，有指著背，鼻子，說它們都傷了。
那醫生想了壹會兒，說：“妳的手指傷了。”
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
壹男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 壹百萬美元對妳意味著多少?"上帝回答:"壹便士."男子又問:"那壹百萬年呢?"上帝說:"壹秒鐘."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到壹便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過壹秒鐘."
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫院裏碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第壹個男人說:"恭喜,妳得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了壹會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,妳得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,妳得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞墻.他們問他有什麽不對勁,他回答道:"什麽不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,壹個比壹個效率高.
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,壹加拿大人還有布什總統走在大街上看到壹盞金色的燈.他們擦了擦燈出現了壹個精靈.精靈說:"我要滿足妳們每人壹個願望總***三個."加拿大人說:"我是個父親我兒子將成為農夫,因此我想讓加拿大的土地永遠肥沃."精靈說了咒語願望實現了.拉登看了很驚奇,他希望有座城墻圍繞阿富汗.精靈又說了咒語願望又實現了.布什總統問:"精靈請告訴我關於這座墻的事情."精靈回答:"墻厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而裏面的任何東西出不來外面的任何東西進不去."布什總統說:"哇!那是座大橋耶...註滿水!!!"
My Baby Swallowed a Bullet
Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
年輕的媽媽說：“醫生，我孩子吞下壹顆子彈，我該怎麽辦？”
醫生說：“不要讓他指著任何人。”
Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下壹顆子彈
2. to point at: 對...瞄準
allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
兩個獵人進森林裏打獵，其中壹個獵人不慎跌倒，兩眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另壹個獵人趕緊拿出手機撥通緊急求助電話。接線員沈著地說：“第壹步，要先確定妳的朋友已經死亡。”於是，接線員在電話裏聽到壹聲槍響，然後聽到那獵人接著問：“第二步怎辦？”