Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
" What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
貓和老鼠
布朗夫人去拜訪壹位朋友，她拿著壹個頂部紮滿了小眼兒的盒子。“盒子裏裝的是什麽？”朋友問道。“壹只小貓，”布朗夫人回答說，“妳知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友說。“小貓也是假想的。”布朗夫人小聲說道。
Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
在休倫湖釣完魚後，我的壹個朋友開車拖著他的船回家。路上車壞了。他沒帶手機，不過，他想，也許他可以通過海事無線廣播來請求公路援助。於是，他爬到他的船裏面，啟動了無線裝置，喊道，“求救，求救”。壹名海岸護衛隊警官作出了回應，“報告妳的位置”。“I-75號公路，Standish的南面兩英裏”。沈默了好壹會之後，警官問我的朋友，“妳的船靠岸時開得有多快？”
The Mean Man's Party
吝嗇鬼的聚會
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
壹個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請壹次客了。他在向壹個朋友解釋怎麽找到他家時說：“妳上到五樓，用妳的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用妳的腳把門推開。”
“為什麽我要用我的肘和腳呢？”
“天哪！” 吝嗇鬼回答，“妳總不會空著手來吧？”
那就更糟了 Much Worse
Much Worse
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
中文：
警察：有人搶妳的手表時，妳為什麽不呼救呢？
男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會發現我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。