求大量英文笑話 不要中文

1.Under the new phone husband "angry birds", his wife loves to play, and once at the supermarket checkout she say to the husband: "stay a little direct go home, I want to play you the bird." Public: "......"（老公手機裏下了“憤怒的小鳥”，妻很愛玩。壹日去超市排隊結賬，妻對老公說：“壹會兒直接回家吧，我想玩妳的那個小鳥了。”眾人：“.....”）

2.Xiao Ming to go to the sea, ChuJingShengQing: "ah! The sea, mother!" Just say that finish, a huge wave hit up, xiao Ming climbed out, blunt the sea said a sentence: "bah, is empress mama! 'ha ha ha ~

（小明去海邊,ChuJingShengQing:“啊!大海,媽媽!“剛說完,壹個巨浪襲擊,小明爬出來,沖大海說了句:“呵,是後媽媽!“哈哈哈~)

3."We the s ah, to dig a nose pick not to throw"(我們那個年代啊，摳個鼻屎都舍不得扔。）

4.Xiao Ming called jack Bauer: "you are a pig!"

Jack Bauer is angry: "I am a pig just strange!"

So xiao Ming told everyone he said small strong call a pig just strange.

Jack Bauer the last straw: "I am not a pig just strange!"

（小明罵小強：“妳是豬！”

小強很憤怒：“我是豬才怪！”

於是小明逢人就說小強叫豬才怪。

小強忍無可忍了：“我不是豬才怪！”）

5.A day in the street saw car accident, an old lady fainted in land, the body all around are liver, blood... Horrible scene. Suddenly she stood up, "really, so unlucky! Just buy pork liver and bowel and!"（.壹日在街上看見車禍，壹老太太昏倒在地，身子周圍全是肝臟，血...場面慘不忍睹。忽然她站起來：“真是的，這麽倒黴！剛買的豬肉腸肝又撒了！” ）