Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
湯姆的借口
老師：湯姆，您為什麽每天上學遲到？
湯姆：我每次路過拐角，壹個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and
saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very
pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and
said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim.
What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all
myself," said Tim.
妳爸爸幫妳了嗎？
壹天，蒂姆的數學老師看了他的作業，發現他全做對了。老師很高興
，同時也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說："蒂姆，妳這次的作業全都
做對了，怎麽回事？妳爸爸幫妳做了嗎？"
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"
英語幽默笑話
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了妳這個苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"妳媽媽能!"
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據這點.
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了妳這個苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"妳媽媽能!"
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據這點.
聖誕節英語笑話
Peace and love for you at Christmas from all your students.
祝老師聖誕節充滿平安和愛。
Wishing you a sparkling Christmas and bright happy New Year!
May the season bring much pleasure to you.
願妳的聖誕光彩奪目，願妳的新年燦爛輝煌！佳節快樂！
Wishing you all the blessings of a beautiful Christmas
season.
願妳擁有聖誕節所有美好的祝福。
Wishing you all the happiness of the holiday season.
祝節日幸福如意。
Hope all your Christmas dreams come true!
願妳所有的聖誕夢想都成真！
英語短笑話
壹：She Didn"t Say Anything
A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence. The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。 “How do you know?” asked her father. “She didn"t sayanything.”
二：I Have Turned It Over
A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s
too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”
The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and
then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary. We can turn the
sheet over. Is that all right?”
英語四級笑話
壹婦女經常光顧壹家古董店，但幾乎從不買什麽東西，卻總是對商品和價格吹毛求疵。對於那婦女的粗暴抱怨，經理和她的銷售員總是應付了事，但是有壹天她做得太過分了。“為什麽妳們店裏總是不能得到我想要的東西？”那名婦女指責說。
職員臉上帶著微笑，沈著地回答道：“也許是因為我們太有禮貌了。”
A woman who frequented a small antique shop rarely purchase anything, but always found fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the woman's grumpy complaints in stride, but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your
shop?" demanded the woman. U %o= +Gc ]h:,.KMu<P A smile on her face, the clerk calmly replied, "Perhaps it's because we're too polite."