1.Question:What did zero say to eight when they meet on the street?
Answer:Nice belt.
問題：當0和8在街上碰到時，0會對8說啥？
回答：腰帶不錯嘛！
2.Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replies,"Yes, Why?" "I just bit my tongue."
兩條蛇在嘮嗑，壹跳轉過頭問：我們是有毒的吧》另壹條回答：對啊，怎麽啦？“我剛要到自己舌頭。”
3.A child says,"Mom,when I was on the us with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady." "Well, you've done the right thing,"says mommy. "But I was sitting on daddy's lap!"
壹個小孩跟媽媽講：早上我和爸爸坐公車時他讓我給壹個女的讓座。媽媽說：妳做得很對啊！孩子接著說：可是那時我正坐在爸爸的大腿上……
4.A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." "Oh dear, waht's the bad news?"asks the patient. The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live." "That's terrible", said the patient."How can any news possibly be worse?" The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."
大夫告訴病人：我有壹個壞消息和壹個更壞的消息。病人問道：壞消息是啥？大夫說：妳只能活不超過24個小時。病人說“天啊，太可怕了！有什麽能比這個還糟糕？”大夫說：“我從昨兒就壹直想聯系妳來著…”
Passage:很moving的壹篇文章…就算妳不采納，我也希望能來光顧的人都看到這篇文章…其實不看中文也可以理解的。
Love is a thread（愛是壹根線）
Sometimes I really doubt whether there is love between my parents. Every day they are very busy trying to earn money in order to pay the high tuition for my brother and me. They don’t act in the romantic ways that I read in books or I see on TV. In their opinion, “I love you” is too luxurious for them to say. Sending flowers to each other on Valentine’s Day is even more out of the question. Finally my father has a bad temper. When he’s very tired from the hard work, it is easy for him to lose his temper.
One day, my mother was sewing a quilt. I silently sat down beside her and looked at her.
“Mom, I have a question to ask you,” I said after a while.
“What?” she replied, still doing her work.
“Is there love between you and Dad?” I asked her in a very low voice.
My mother stopped her work and raised her head with surprise in her eyes. She didn’t answer immediately. Then she bowed her head and continued to sew the quilt.
I was very worried because I thought I had hurt her. I was in a great embarrassment and I didn’t know what I should do. But at last I heard my mother say the following words:
“Susan,” she said thoughtfully, “Look at this thread. Sometimes it appears, but most of it disappears in the quilt. The thread really makes the quilt strong and durable. If life is a quilt, then love should be a thread. It can hardly be seen anywhere or anytime, but it’s really there. Love is inside.”
I listened carefully but I couldn’t understand her until the next spring. At that time, my father suddenly got sick seriously. My mother had to stay with him in the hospital for a month. When they returned from the hospital, they both looked very pale. It seemed both of them had had a serious illness.
After they were back, every day in the morning and dusk, my mother helped my father walk slowly on the country road. My father had never been so gentle. It seemed they were the most harmonious couple. Along the country road, there were many beautiful flowers, green grass and trees. The sun gently glistened through the leaves. All of these made up the most beautiful picture in the world.
The doctor had said my father would recover in two months. But after two months he still couldn’t walk by himself. All of us were worried about him.
“Dad, how are you feeling now?” I asked him one day.
“Susan, don’t worry about me.” he said gently. “To tell you the truth, I just like walking with your mom. I like this kind of life.” Reading his eyes, I know he loves my mother deeply.
Once I thought love meant flowers, gifts and sweet kisses. But from this experience, I understand that love is just a thread in the quilt of our life. Love is inside, making life strong and warm..
有時候，我真的懷疑父母之間是否有真愛。他們天天忙於賺錢，為我和弟弟支付學費。他們從未像我在書中讀到，或在電視中看到的那樣互訴衷腸。他們認為“我愛妳”太奢侈，很難說出口。更不用說在情人節送花這樣的事了。我父親的脾氣非常壞。經過壹天的勞累之後，他經常會發脾氣。
壹天，母親正在縫被子，我靜靜地坐在她旁邊看著她。
過了壹會，我說：“媽媽，我想問妳壹個問題。”
“什麽問題？”她壹邊繼續縫著，壹邊回答道。
我低聲地問道：“妳和爸爸之間有沒有愛情啊？”
母親突然停下了手中的活，滿眼詫異地擡起頭。她沒有立即作答。然後低下頭，繼續縫被子。
我擔心傷害了她。我非常尷尬，不知道該怎麽辦。不過，後來我聽見母親說：“蘇珊，看看這些線。有時候，妳能看得見，但是大多數都隱藏在被子裏。這些線使被子堅固耐用。如果生活就像壹床被子，那麽愛就是其中的線。妳不可能隨時隨地看到它，但是它卻實實在在地存在著。愛是內在的。”
我仔細地聽著，卻無法明白她的話，直到來年的春天。那時候，我父親得了重病。母親在醫院裏待了壹個月。當他們從醫院回來的時候，都顯得非常蒼白。就像他們都得了壹場重病壹樣。
他們回來之後，每天的清晨或黃昏，母親都會攙扶著父親在鄉村的小路上漫步。父親從未如此溫和過。他們就像是天作之合。在小路旁邊，有許多美麗的野花、綠草和樹木。陽光穿過樹葉的縫隙，溫柔地照射在地面上。這壹切形成了壹幅世間最美好的畫面。
醫生說父親將在兩個月後康復。但是兩個月之後，他仍然無法獨立行走。我們都很為他擔心。
有壹天，我問他：“爸爸，妳感覺怎麽樣？”
他溫和地說：“蘇珊，不用為我擔心。跟妳說吧，我喜歡與妳媽媽壹塊散步的感覺。我喜歡這種生活。”從他的眼神裏，我看得出他對母親的愛之深刻。
我曾經認為愛情就是鮮花、禮物和甜蜜的親吻。但是從那壹刻起，我明白了，愛情就像是生活中被子裏的壹根線。愛情就在裏面，使生活變得堅固而溫暖。