十五分鐘八人搞笑英語話劇劇本

《孔雀東南飛》（英文搞笑話劇） 本文來自:恒星英語學習網(www.Hxen.com)詳細出處參考： /yingyujuben/2007-03-30/4960.htmlWanderseveryfivemiles 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC) Prologue (J作被打狀跑上臺,內砸出壹卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪) J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy wifeisWuSong. (指著上臺處的門大聲道)I’mnotafraidofyou! (內砸出壹臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I’mafraidofwhom? MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme, smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell! (內又砸出壹卷紙筒,擊中J) MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下) Act1 (序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀) JM(拄拐棍上):Ican! (對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou? L(紮著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I’mhere!What’supmum? JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland dearestmother-in-law”. L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup? JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Neverinterruptme! L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken and…… JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson! L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyour son.I’mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)