：The Same Duties
A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to e work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast."
Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."
相同的職責
壹個退休的四星級將軍在曼哈頓的壹個酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤務兵，勤務兵也退休在家。這位將軍花了壹整個晚上的時間來說服他回來做他的貼身隨從。“妳的職責與在軍隊時完全壹樣，”將軍說，“這沒什麽，妳很快就會再次理解它的。”
第二天早晨八點鐘時，前勤務兵迅速地進到前將軍的臥室，拉開窗簾，輕輕地搖了搖將軍，然後大步走到床的另壹側，在他雇主的妻子 *** 上拍了壹下，說道：“好了，甜心，妳該回到村莊去了。”
：Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
大五個月
第二次世界大戰開始了，約翰想參軍，可他只有十六歲，當時規定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫給他進行體檢時，他說他已經十八歲了。
可約翰的哥哥剛入伍沒幾天，而且也是這個軍醫給他做的檢查。這位醫生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。
“妳多大了?”軍醫問。
“十八，長官。”約翰說。
“可妳的哥哥也是十八歲，妳們是雙胞胎嗎?”
約翰臉紅了，說：“哦，不是，長官，我哥哥比我大五個月。”
：The Mean Man's Party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "e up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not ing empty-handed, are you?"
吝嗇鬼的聚會
壹個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請壹次客了。他在向壹個朋友解釋怎麽找到他家時說：“妳上到五樓，用妳的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用妳的腳把門推開。”
“為什麽我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“妳總不會空著手來吧?”
：Talking clock
會說話的鐘
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
壹個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麽用的?”他的壹個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是壹個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。“這鐘怎麽工作的”，他的朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前壹把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了壹下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，妳這 *** !現在是淩晨兩點鐘了!”