不要開黃槍!!!
The Good News and The Bad News
The doctor is talking to a woman in a hospital bed. "I have some good news for you and some bad. First the bad news -- we amputated the wrong leg. Now here is the good news -- we've discovered that your other leg doesn't need to be removed after all."
好消息和壞消息
醫生對躺在病床上的壹位婦女說：“我給妳帶來了好消息，也帶來了不好的消息。先告訴妳壹個不好的消息－我們錯截了妳的那條好腿。現在我再來告訴妳壹個好消息，我們發現妳的另壹條腿沒必要截除了。”
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead.” said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife.”The doctor knows better than you!"
醫生懂得多
壹個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."
聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比妳懂得多."
The Picture is Half Good and Half Bad
An artist had painted a child holding a basket of fruit. A friend of his, who admired this picture, wishing to show its perfection, said to some persons who were examining it that the fruit appeared so natural that the birds came to peck at it. A countryman, who heard these praises, said: "If this fruit is as well represented as you say, it is not so with the child, since he does not frighten the birds."
毀譽摻半的畫
壹位藝術家畫了張畫:壹個孩子提著壹籃水果.他的朋友很欣賞這幅畫,他很想告訴別人這畫的美妙之處,就對幾個正在細看畫的人說,畫中的水果畫得多麽逼真,連鳥都會來啄的. 壹個村夫聽了這些贊美的話就說:"如果水果畫得真像妳說的那樣好,那麽小孩就畫得不怎麽樣了,因為他沒有嚇住那些鳥."
How to Get a Seat by the Fire
A gentleman came to an inn on a very cold day, and could get no room near the fire.
He called to the hostler to fetch a peck of oysters, and give them to his horse.
"Will your horse eat oysters?” said the hostler.
"Try him,” said the gentleman.
Immediately the people ran to see this wonder, and the gentleman who alone remained in the room, chose the best seat by the fire and made himself comfortable.
怎樣在火爐旁找個座位
在壹個嚴寒的冬日,壹位紳士來到了壹家小客棧,發現火爐旁沒有空位了.於是,他讓旅店裏的馬倌去取些牡蠣來餵他的馬。
馬倌說:"您的馬吃牡蠣嗎?"
"妳試著餵吧."紳士答道。
傾刻間,人們都跑去看這壹奇觀,而紳士卻獨自呆在屋裏,他在爐旁找了個最好的座位,怡然自得起來。