She Didn"t Say Anything
A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.
The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。
“How do you know?” asked her father.
“She didn"t say anything.”
I Have Turned It Over
A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”
The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?”
2.One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: Thats no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, thats what he did.
Preacher: Thats still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, thats what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, thats still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
3.When I was born, I was black.
當我出生時，我是黑色的
When I grow up, I am black.
我長大了，我是黑色的
When I'm under the sun, I'm black.
我在陽光下，我是黑色的
When I'm cold, I'm black.
我寒冷時，我是黑色的
When I'm afraid, I'm black.
我害怕時，我是黑色的
When I'm sick, I'm black.
我生病了，我是黑色的
When I die, I'm still black.
當我死了，我仍是黑色的。
you---white people,
妳---白種人
When you were born, you were pink.
當妳出生時，妳是粉紅色的
When you grow up, you become white.
妳長大了，變成白色的
You're red under the sun.
妳在陽光下，妳是紅色的
You're blue when you're cold.
妳寒冷時，妳是青色的
You are yellow when you're afraid.
妳害怕時，妳是黃色的
You're green when you're sick.
妳生病時，妳是綠色的
You're gray when you die.
當妳死時，妳是灰色的
And you, call me "color"?
而妳，卻叫我「有色人種」？
4.The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老師
9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裏。
"喬治，妳喜歡妳們的新老師嗎？" 媽媽問。
"媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。"
5.Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，壹只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
6.Excuse for Speeding
Excuse for Speeding
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.
〃Why on earth were you driving so fast？〃 the policeman yelled.
〃Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident！〃
超速的理由
哈裏與勞埃德超速行駛，壹輛警車攔住了他們。
“妳們為什麽開那麽快？”警官喊道。
“我們的剎車不好，因此我們想在發生事故前趕緊到達目的地。”
7.Send the Bill to My Father
Doctor： 〃I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.〃
Patient： 〃then send the bill to my father，please.〃
把賬單給我父親
醫生：“對妳的抱怨我無能為力。那是遺傳病。”
病人：“那請妳把賬單給我父親吧。”