簡單易懂的英語笑話
笑話是壹個漢語詞匯，意思是引人發笑的話或事情。笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。以下是我幫大家整理的簡單易懂的英語笑話，希望對大家有所幫助。
1、Who was the first man? 誰是世界上第壹個男人
A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”
壹個老師問她的學生：“誰是世界上第壹個男人”
“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.
壹個小男孩立刻大聲說：“喬治.華盛頓。”
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.
老師帶著寵溺的笑容問這個男生：“妳如何證明喬治華盛頓是世界上第壹個男人呢。”
“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
這個男孩子說：“因為，他是第壹個挑起戰爭，第壹個主張和平，並且是第壹個深得民心的'人。”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
這時，有壹個年齡稍大的男孩子舉起手來，老師問他，“妳認為誰是世界第壹個男人?”
“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
男孩回答說：“我不知道他的名字，但是我肯定他不是喬治華盛頓，因為歷史書上說，喬治華盛頓和壹個寡婦結婚了，所以在他之前，當然還有壹個男的啦。”
2、Always Thirsty 總感到口渴
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
壹個男人對他的朋友說：“我動了壹次手術，手術後醫生把壹塊海綿忘在我的身體裏了。”
"That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
“真是太糟糕了!”朋友說道：“妳覺得疼嗎?”
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
“不疼，可是我總感到口渴。”
3、 if I Am a Manager
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.
如果我是壹個經理
壹天課上，老師要同學們以“如果我是壹個經理”為題寫壹篇作文。
所有的學生都在動筆寫了，只有壹個男生例外。老師走過去問他為什麽不寫。
“我在等我的秘書”。那孩子答道。
4、Quick Cleanup 快速清掃
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上，我媽媽，壹個完美的家庭主婦，正忙裏忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務是打掃供客人使用的浴室。壹會兒之後，當她去檢查的時候，她吃驚了，曾經壹度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃幹凈了。接著她看到浴簾上有壹張紙條，紙條上寫著：“謝謝妳沒往浴缸裏看。”
5、 young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
壹個年輕人剛剛開始做生意，就租了壹個漂亮的辦公室。壹天，他坐在辦公室裏，看到有壹個人在外面，於是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個大數字，好像在談壹筆大買賣。
到了最後，他終於掛了電話，問來訪的人，“有事兒嘛?”那個人回答，“我是來給妳安裝電話的。”
6、Two Birds 兩只鳥
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，壹只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
Teacher: Please tell us.
老師：請說說看。
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
7、三只烏龜
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.
三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。
Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
於是最大的那只烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“妳回家去取傘吧。”
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
最小的烏龜說，“如果妳們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
"We won't," the other two promised.
“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應說。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
兩年後，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
正在這時，壹個聲音從門外傳來，“妳們要是喝了，我就不去。”
8、又要結婚了
"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
“這麽說，妳又要請壹天假，”老師怒氣沖沖地對他的學生湯姆說，“我倒想知道妳這次找什麽借口。妳已經請了四次假說去參加妳爺爺的葬禮。”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
湯姆回答說:“今天是我奶奶再次舉行婚禮。”
9、Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰術
三個互相爭生意的商店老板在壹條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”
中間的商人隨後準備了壹個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。
10、Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received onefromanother officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大戰中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之壹。她在壹個大軍營中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。
壹天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，“我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興。”瓊同意了，於是他們幾個月裏壹直通著信。
後來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另壹個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫院裏。
瓊到了醫院，她對護士長說，“我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯。”
“這裏只有親屬可以探望病人。”護士長說。
“噢，是的，”瓊說，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高興認識妳，”護士長說，“我是他的母親。”
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