Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar. As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him. Both of them stopped, staring at each other. Then the critic said, "I'll never make way for a fool." "But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside.
歌德的容忍
壹次，歌德正在魏瑪壹個公園的壹條狹窄小道上散步。碰巧他遇見壹個對他懷有敵意的評論家。兩人都停了下來，彼此相互對視。接著評論家說道：“我從來不給傻瓜讓路。” “可我給。”說完歌德退到了壹邊。
Blind Date
相親（笑話）
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和相親對象呆了壹晚上後，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出壹副陰沈的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”“謝天謝地！”他的約會對象說，“如果妳的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了！”
St Peter's question 聖彼德的問題
Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, "The Titanic" and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?" Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and commands, in a very heavy voice, "Name them!".
有三個人死了，分別是壹名醫生、壹名會計和壹名律師。他們來到了聖彼德面前。聖彼德對他們說，如果他們想進入天堂，就得每人回答壹個問題。聖彼德看著醫生開始發問，“以前電影院放過壹部電影，說的是壹艘船撞擊冰山後沈沒，電影的名字是什麽？” 醫生回答，“＜＜泰坦尼克號＞＞”，醫生隨即被允許進入天堂。然後聖彼德看著會計說，“船上有多少人遇難？”。會計很走運，因為他剛看過這部電影，回答道，“1500人遇難。”聖彼德把會計也放進天堂了。最後，聖彼德轉過身，看著律師，非常嚴肅地用命令的口吻問道，“把1500人的名字都說出來？”
林肯過生日 Great Event
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
老師：1809年發生了什麽重大事件？
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯誕生。
老師：正確。那麽1812年發生了什麽重要事件呢？
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯過他的三周歲生日。
The Mean Man's Party
吝嗇鬼的聚會
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
壹個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請壹次客了。他在向壹個朋友解釋怎麽找到他家時說：“妳上到五樓，用妳的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用妳的腳把門推開。”
“為什麽我要用我的肘和腳呢？”
“天哪！” 吝嗇鬼回答，“妳總不會空著手來吧？”