Mark Twain once went to borrow a certain book from a neighbour in Tarry town. “ May I borrow a book from you? ” he asked politely. “ Yes, you're more than welcome to it, ” the neighbour told him. “ But I must ask you to read it here. You know I make it a rule never to let any book go out of my library. ”
Some days later the neighbour wished to borrow Mark Twain's machine for cutting grass in the garden. “ Why, certainly, ” Mark Twain told him. “ You're more than welcome to it. But I must ask you to use it here. You know that I make it a rule never to let it go out of my garden. ”
譯文：
概不外借
在特裏鎮，馬克·吐溫有壹次去壹位鄰居那裏借壹本書。“我可以向您借壹本書嗎？”他禮貌地問道。“當然，非常樂意”，鄰居告訴他。“但是我要求妳在這兒讀。妳知道我有壹條規定，那就是決不讓壹本書拿出我的圖書室”。
幾天以後，這位鄰居想從馬克·吐溫那兒借壹臺割草機。“噢，當然可以”，馬克·吐溫告訴他，“非常樂意借給妳。但我要妳在這兒用。妳知道我從來不允許把它拿出我的花園”。
原文：
The Umbrella
A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written ：“ This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes. ”
When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written: “ This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back. ”
譯文：
雨傘
壹位住在旅店的紳士把他的雨傘放在了大廳裏，不過他在傘柄上系了壹張卡片，上面寫道：“此傘屬於壹位能舉百磅的紳士。我將在 10 分鐘內回來。”
當他回來時，他發現雨傘已不翼而飛，取而代之的是另壹張卡片，上面寫著：“此卡片是壹位 1 小時能跑 10 英裏的人留下的，我不回來了。”
原文
You Will Save Much More
“ You will be pleased with me today, mother ” , said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. “ I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it. ”
“ Well, ” said his mother laughing, “ Next time you should run after a taxi, you will save much more. ”
譯文：
妳會省得更多
“媽媽，妳今天壹定會對我滿意的，”迪克放學回家後對媽媽說，“我省下了車錢。我上學時沒乘公***汽車，而是跟著公***汽車壹路跑到學校的。”
“哦，”媽媽笑著說，“下次妳跟在出租車後面跑，那會省得更多”。