英語的幽默笑話
DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and
saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very
pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and
said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim.
What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all
myself," said Tim.
妳爸爸幫妳了嗎?
壹天，蒂姆的數學老師看了他的作業，發現他全做對了。老師很高興
，同時也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說："蒂姆，妳這次的作業全都
做對了，怎麽回事?妳爸爸幫妳做了嗎?"
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
Pig or Witch 豬還是女巫
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.
譯文1：壹個男人在壹條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車，壹個女人相向駕車而來。他們相遇時，那個女的從窗中伸出頭來叫到：?豬!!?那個男的立即從窗中伸出頭來回敬道：?女巫!!?他們繼續前行。這個男的在下壹個路口轉彎時，撞上了路中間的壹頭豬。要是這個男的能聽懂那個女人的意思就好了。
Contented Married Life
A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."
"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"
"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."
His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"
"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."
令人滿意的婚姻生活
壹個男人告訴他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美滿的秘密，?小事都由我妻子決定，?他解釋說：?而我只管大事，我們從不互相幹涉，從不生對方的'氣。我們從來沒有抱怨、沒有爭吵。?
?聽起來很有道理，?他的朋友深有同感，?有哪些事情由妳妻子作決定呢?
?嗯，?那個人回答說：?她決定我申請什麽工作，我們住什麽房子，買什麽家具，去哪裏度假這些事情。?
他的朋友很驚奇的問道：?哦?那麽妳決定哪些重要事情?
?嗯，?他回答：?我決定誰來當首相，我們是否要增加對貧困國家的援助，怎麽處理原子彈等等這些問題。?
湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了妳這個苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"妳媽媽能!"
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據這點.
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
湯姆對著吉姆罵道:"我受不了妳這個苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"妳媽媽能!"
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個笑話正是根據這點.
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