硪找勒5則笑話.~:
I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子，妳為什麽用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？”
“沒有，老師。可是妳昨天說妳告訴我的知識都是壹個耳朵裏進，壹個耳朵裏出，所以我要把它堵在裏面。”
“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元！為什麽？不是說好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是妳的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。”
TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理。現在，誰給我舉個例子？
約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什麽妳每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,就看見壹個牌子上寫著"學校----慢行".
Let me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
為我所用
壹頭大象對壹只小老鼠說：“妳無疑是我見過的最小、最沒用的東西。”
“請再說壹遍，讓我把它記下來。”老鼠說。“我要講給我認識的壹只跳蚤聽。
習語:
A good winter brings a good summer.瑞雪兆豐年。 A good tongue is a good weapon.伶俐的口齒是壹種銳利的武器。 A good tale is none the worse for being twice told.好故事百聽不厭。 A good name keeps lustre in the dark.好的名聲在黑暗中也會光芒四射。 A good name is sooner lost than won.美譽難得而易失。 A good name is earlier lost than won.失去美名易，得到美名難。 A good name is better than riches.好名譽勝過有財富。 A good medicine tastes bitter.良藥苦口，忠言逆耳。 A friend is best found in adversity.患難見真友。 A friend is a second self.朋友是另壹個我。 A friend in need is a friend indeed.患難朋友才是真朋友。 No wisdom like silence智者寡言 Necessity knows no law鋌而走險 Many hands make light work人多好辦事 Don?t play the goat不要胡鬧 They’re a barrel of laughs他們很搞笑 This movie was just a hype這部電影完全是在炒作 the shortest straw下下簽 The news came as a bombshell這個消息猶如晴天霹靂 feeling low意氣消沈 These are more than old wives? tales這些可不是無稽之談 That’ll save your skin那可幫妳度過難關 Every bad has some good 壞事情也有好的壹面 Some things rub them the wrong way他們被惹怒了 Stay put停住不動 to fly off the handle突然生氣、發怒 He is really on the ball他真的思路很敏捷 got savoir faire言行得體 He has never rested on his laurels他從不滿足目前的成就 Jump down someone’s throat生氣地批評 put a roof over one’s head找個地方安頓 faced the music報應 blinded with science無言以對 Off one’s rocker缺乏理智 old goat老古板（通常指年長者） Welcome！It’s lovely to see you歡迎！見到妳真高興！ What’s gotten into you？妳怎麽了？ Coffee kept them on the go咖啡使他們充滿活力； Shine on擱在壹旁； Monkey（around）with亂動； I think I get the drift我知道了； get the drift明白，了解 The meeting will start at 10 o?clock sharp會議十點準時開始； like taking candy from a baby形容某事易如反掌 Home is where the heart is家是心之所在 From the word go 從頭到尾； They help make it less of a dog?s life他們幫忙改善生活； Half-baked 不成熟的 bend the rules at times網開壹面 Spill one’s guts說出實情 For heaven?s sake！老天！表示驚奇或憤怒的感嘆語 Fly-by-night不可靠的，不可信任的 Nervous wreck緊張，激動 Pull through脫險，渡過難關 Thumb through 匆匆的閱讀 Lose one’s shirt壹文不值 Mess around with瞎搞；亂動 Touch and go情勢危急 Handwriting on the wall.顯而易見的危險 Spread oneself too thin 心力交瘁 run-down筋疲力盡 We look forward to the dawn of better days.我們期待好日子的來臨 Variety is charming.豐富多彩就是美 Two of a trade never agree.同行是冤家 The sudden news frightened me.突來的消息嚇我壹跳 He threatened to fire me他威脅要解雇我 You young devil’s spawn！妳這小鬼！ It doesn’t listen right這聽起來似乎不對； What snacks do you like best？妳最喜歡什麽零食； I like raisins and kebabs葡萄幹和肉串 pistachio開心果；beef jerky牛肉幹兒； sunflower seeds瓜子；fish jerky魚片。 美語“天啊”-Oh！boy或Oh！man；“好痛呀”美語標準口語是Ouch； 如果身邊有喋喋不休的人，可以說“Buzz off” That makes sense那可以理解； You said it妳算說對了； I really need to blow off some steam!我得舒緩壹下壓力； take a piss小便 Pride feels no cold.人要圖俏，凍死不叫。/ 驕者不覺冷，俏人不穿棉。 Virtue never grows old. 美德永遠不會過時。 Pride feels no cold. 人要圖俏，凍死不叫。/ 驕者不覺冷，俏人不穿棉。 I am always punctual 我總是很準時； Don’t be so modest 別謙虛了； I am flattered過獎了 I am on your side 我支持妳； Well，it depends噢，這得看情況； It is up in the air懸而未決 That is the latest fashion. 這是最流行的款式； He always talks big. 他總是吹牛。 So far so good 目前為止，壹切都好； Let’s get to the point 來談要點吧！ For the old time sake. 看在舊曰關系的面子上； Let’s forgive and forget. 盡棄前嫌。 Knock it off. 少來這壹套；A close call. 太危險了/千鈞壹發； Neck and neck. 不分上下 It is cool很棒； It is neat太酷了； It is righteous酷斃了! Righteous比較少用 That will be the day. 有這麽壹天就好了； I am having a swell time. 我玩得很開心 If I were in your shoes…如果我是妳的話…； It is out of the question. 這是不可能的 He passed out. 他已經昏倒了！； Not a sound was heard 沒有壹點聲音； Don’t panic. 不要慌！ It is a lot of junks. 這都是壹些鬼東西； Over my dead body! 休想！ I decline! 我拒絕 I got a big kick out of it. 這件事真令我開心； Don’t try to brainwash me.別想給我洗腦 Don’t chicken out，Be a man. 不要退縮了； You can count on us. 妳可以信賴我們。 His words carry a lot of weight 他的話很有份量； My mouth is watering. 我流口水了 Don’t dream away your time 別虛度光陰； Cheer up振作起來； You are a chicken妳是個膽小鬼 It is nothing to be surprised about 這事不值得大驚小怪； What a good deal! 真便宜 In a word，I am tired of everything 總之，我對壹切都很厭倦； You asked for it 妳自討苦吃 God helps those who he1p themselves 上帝幫助那些自己幫自己的人； You set me up! 妳出賣我 The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself 人貴有自知之明 Misfortune might be a blessing in disguise 塞翁失馬，安知非福短篇故事:
“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元！為什麽？不是說好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是妳的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。”
TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理。現在，誰給我舉個例子？
約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。