：老鼠是什麽樣子的
Rodents had overrun a posh***時髦的***private school near New York City. So the headmaster, a friend of mine, asked a health inspector to deliver a slide presentation to teachers and students, showing how to remedy the situation, i.e. stow***裝載，收藏*** trash, no food in class, etc.
The following day, a teacher had her very young children write a letter to the inspector, thanking him for the visit. One of the students wrote, "Dear Mr. Johnson, Thank you for ing to my school. Until I saw you, I didn't know what a rat looked like."
齧齒類動物在紐約市附近的壹家時尚的私立學校氾濫成災。 那家學校的校長***我的壹個朋友*** 請來了壹位健康檢查員來給在校師生作壹次幻燈演示，告訴他們如何處理這種情況，如，要垃圾裝好，上課不能吃東西等等。
第二天，壹個老師讓她的那些年紀還非常小的學生給那位檢查員寫封信，感謝他的來訪。 其中壹個學生這樣寫道，“親愛的約翰遜先生， 感謝您來到我的學校。在看到妳之前，我還不知道老鼠長的什麽樣子。”。
：Is ink so expensive
墨水很貴嗎
Son: Is ink so very expensive, father?
Father: Why, son, what makes you think so?
Son: W...well. Mother seems quite disturbed because I spilled some on the carpet.
兒子：爸爸，墨水很貴嗎?
父親：不貴呀，妳為什麽這麽想?
兒子：哦，我把墨水灑了壹點在地毯上，媽媽好象挺著急的。
：Name Game
A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.
The teacher held up a picture of a cat.
"What animal is this?" she asked.
"A cat!" said Eddie.
"Good job! Now, what is this animal?"
"A dog!" said Eddie.
"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a
Deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said,
"It's what your mom calls your dad."
"A horny bastard," called out Eddie.
：Too much TV?
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so *** art! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 yr. old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied,
"Bud."
：Math multiplication
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!