塞謬爾?朗赫恩?克萊門斯( l835～1910)，馬克?吐溫(Mark Twain)是其筆名。他是美國批判現實主義文學的奠基人，是幽默諷刺小說大師。
馬克吐溫幽默 經典語錄 ：
Mark.vomit to say:Late come of true facts, be like suddenly horseshoe, ah of shooting the head, pain!
馬克.吐溫說：遲來的真相，就像突然擊中頭部的馬蹄鐵，哎，痛啊!
Mark.vomit:Have no emotion to kiss, be like to die pork in person.
馬克.吐溫：沒有情感的吻，就像在親死豬肉壹樣。
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
保持沈默讓大家以為妳是個傻瓜比開口說話讓大家確定妳是傻瓜要好多了。
Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.
萬物都有極限?鐵礦石不可能打造成黃金。
我：人也好，東西也好，不能指望不切實際的突破極限，但還是可以因材施教朝著合適的方向發展。iron 雖然不能變成gold，打造個iron man 還是有可能的。
Truth is stranger than fiction，because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities;truth isn't.
真實比小說更不可思議，因為小說還得遵從可能性，真實可不用。
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
男人只有在承認自己是騙子的時候才最真實。
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
當朋友都開始稱贊妳很年輕，就是妳正在變老的表現。
'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
經典?是本書，人人都說好，人人都不讀。Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
別總抱怨說整個世界都對不起妳，這個世界不欠妳啥，它先來的。
Those persons who have a good book but don't read are unlike and can't read the person of these books to own any advantage.
那些有好書卻不讀的人不比無法讀到這些書的人擁有任何優勢。
Rather shut up don't talk, don't be eager to exPssing oneself, either.
寧願閉口不說話，也不要急於表現自己。
Calculate to the person also unimportant with the stupid stupid imPssion.
就算給人以蠢笨的印象也不要緊。
Comity is such a kind of intense emotion of sanctity is thus sweet, firm and honest.
友誼是如此聖潔的壹種激情，是如此甜蜜、牢固和忠誠。
Such of the characteristic can make the comity support life long-as long as don't think the other party borrows money.
這樣的特質可使友誼維系終身?只要不想對方借錢。
Among all animals, the mankind are the most ruthlessness, is unique make the happiness on pain and sufferings of animal. 在所有的動物當中，人類是最殘酷的，是唯壹將快樂制造在痛苦上的動物。
Don't give up your imagination.When the imagination had no after, you can also exist, but although you living dead still.
不要放棄妳的幻想。當幻想沒有了以後，妳還可以生存，但是妳雖生猶死。
Tell the truth forever, such of words you need not recorded you to once say some what.
永遠說實話，這樣的話妳就不用去記妳曾經說過些什麽。
Those persons who have a good book but don't read are unlike and can't read the person of these books to own any advantage.
那些有好書卻不讀的人不比無法讀到這些書的人擁有任何優勢。
Rather shut up don't talk, don't be eager to exPssing oneself, either.
寧願閉口不說話，也不要急於表現自己。 希望對妳有用 還有 不過壹些跟前面的重復了 請自己看
Don't give up your imagination.When the imagination had no after, you can also exist, but although you living dead still.
不要放棄妳的幻想。當幻想沒有了以後，妳還可以生存，但是妳雖生猶死。
Tell the truth forever, such of words you need not recorded you to once say some what.
永遠說實話，這樣的話妳就不用去記妳曾經說過些什麽。
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
戒煙是這個世界上最容易的事情了，我知道這個因為我幹過無數次了。
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
最有趣的消息都是從孩子嘴裏說出來的，因為孩子說出他們知道的壹切之後就打住了。
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
有了壹個新想法的人只是個怪人，除非這個想法成功了。
我：所以，不要再抱怨懷才不遇啦，只有創意和想法是不夠的，還需要把創意和想法成功實現的行動力哦。
The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.
貓和謊言的主要差別是貓只有九條命。
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
氣候是我們期待的東西，天氣是我們得到的東西。