The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道這個諺語嗎？
壹個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關系，”壹位先生說，“不用害怕，妳知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？”
Let me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
為我所用
壹頭大象對壹只小老鼠說：“妳無疑是我見過的最小、最沒用的東西。”
“請再說壹遍，讓我把它記下來。”老鼠說。“我要講給我認識的壹只跳蚤聽。
Do You Know My Work？
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work，” said the other．
“What is your work？”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
譯文：（自己簡單翻譯）
妳知道我是幹什麽的嗎？
壹天晚上，壹家旅館失火，住在這家旅館裏的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。
兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
“在我出來之前，”其中壹個說：“我跑進壹些房間，找到了壹大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火裏，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。”
“妳不知道我是幹什麽的。”另壹個說。
“妳是幹什麽的？”
“我是警察。”
“噢！”第壹個人喊了壹聲。他靈機壹動，說：“那妳知道我是幹什麽的？”“不知道。”警察說。
“我是個作家。我總是愛編壹些從未發生過的故事。”
A Mysterious Letter
“I don't like to inquire too curiously into your affairs，”said the lady to her husband．“But something's been bothering me for days．”
“So？” said the husband．“Tell me all about it．”
“You got a letter last Friday，”the lady said．“It was perfumed．It was in a girl's handwriting．I saw you oped it：you broke into a sweat．You turned white．Your hands trembled…For goodness'sake，who was it from and what did it say？”
“Oh，that，”said the husband．“I decided it was best for both of us not to talk about it at the time．”
“For heaven's sake，”screamed the woman．“Tell me who it was from and what it said．”
“Okay，”said the husband．“It was from your dress shop．It said you owe them＄740.00．”
中文：（簡單翻譯）
壹封神秘的信
“我不想過分好奇地打聽妳的事情，”妻子對她的丈夫說。“但是有件事已經困擾我好幾天了。”
“是嗎？”丈夫說。“妳說給我聽聽。”
“上星期五妳收到了壹封信，”妻子說。“信是灑了香水的。是女孩的字跡。我見妳打開信：妳突然冒出壹身冷汗，妳的臉變得煞白，妳的手顫抖著……。天哪，是誰寫的信？信上都說了些什麽？”
“噢，是這事兒。”丈夫說。“我當時決定我們倆最好不要談論它。”
“天哪！”那女人尖叫起來，“告訴我誰寫的，都寫了些什麽。”
“好吧。”丈夫說。“是從妳的服裝店寄來的，說妳欠他們七百四十美元。”
=====================
Who Was the First Man？
A teacher said to her class：
“Who was the first man？”
“George Washington，”a little boy shouted promptly．
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently．
“Because，”said the little boy，“he was first in war，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen．”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand．
“Well，” said the teacher to him，“who do you think was the first man？”
“I don't know what his name was，”said the larger boy，“but I know it wasn't George Washington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married a widow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him．”
中文譯： 簡單翻譯
誰是第壹個男人？
有個老師問班上的學生：
“誰是第壹個男人？”
“喬治·華盛頓，”壹個小男孩當即叫道。
“妳怎麽知道喬治·華盛頓是第壹個男人呢？”老師問道，寬容地微笑著。
小男孩說：“因為他是戰時第壹，和時第壹，國人心中第壹。”
這時壹個大點兒的男孩舉起手來。
“那麽，”老師對他說，“妳認為誰是第壹個男人呢？”
“我不知道他的名字，”大點兒的男孩說，“但我知道不是喬治·華盛頓，老師。因為歷史書上說，喬治·華盛頓娶了壹個寡婦，所以在他前面肯定還有壹個男人。”
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，壹只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？
學生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請說說看。
學生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
魚網
"妳能告訴我魚網是什麽做的嗎，安？" 老師發問道。
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在壹起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老師
9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裏。
"喬治，妳喜歡妳們的新老師嗎？" 媽媽問。
"媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。"
A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
壹次物理考試
在壹次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第壹個問題。
這個問題是：為什麽在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲？
尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在後。
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
精明的家庭主婦
壹位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有壹種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省壹半的煤。她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了！壹個爐子可以省壹半的煤，那麽如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎？”
Which woman?
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the
most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
哪壹位女人？
壹天晚上我開著丈夫的車去購物，
回來後發現車身沾滿灰塵，於是擦洗了壹陣。當我終於走進屋裏時大聲喊：“世界上最愛妳的女人剛擦洗了妳的車燈和擋風玻璃。”
我丈夫擡頭看了看，說：“媽媽來了？”