Much Worse
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
中文：
警察：有人搶妳的手表時，妳為什麽不呼救呢？
男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會發現我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。
2林肯過生日 Great Event
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
老師：1809年發生了什麽重大事件？
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯誕生。
老師：正確。那麽1812年發生了什麽重要事件呢？
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯過他的三周歲生日。
3 Talking clock
會說話的鐘
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
壹個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麽用的？”他的壹個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是壹個會說話的鐘”，學生回答。“這鐘怎麽工作的”，他的朋友問。“看著，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前壹把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了壹下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，妳這白癡！現在是淩晨兩點鐘了！”
4The Mean Man's Party
吝嗇鬼的聚會
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
壹個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請壹次客了。他在向壹個朋友解釋怎麽找到他家時說：“妳上到五樓，用妳的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了後，再用妳的腳把門推開。”
“為什麽我要用我的肘和腳呢？”
“天哪！” 吝嗇鬼回答，“妳總不會空著手來吧？”