英語笑話段子集錦
愛笑的人，運氣總不會太差，那麽妳喜歡笑麽?這裏我收集整理了好些搞笑的英語笑話段子集錦，壹起來看看吧!說不定能點中妳的笑血哦!
英語笑話段子1
An Exact Number 準確數字
A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur(恐龍) bones lying about.
How old are these bones? the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.
Exactly one hundred million and three years old.
How can you be so sure? inquired the tourist.
Well, replied the guide, a geologist(地質學家) came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.
壹位遊客在新墨西哥遊覽，他對隨處可見的恐龍化石甚感驚奇。
這些化石有多長的'歷史?遊客問壹個上了年紀的當地美國人，他是作向導的。
整整十億零三年了。
妳怎麽這麽肯定?遊客問道。
哦，向導回答道，壹個地質學家來過這兒，他告訴我說這些化石有十億年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。
英語笑話段子2
Do You Know My Work 妳知道我是幹嘛的嗎
One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
Before I came out, said one, I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find. No one will be poorer because I took them.
You don't know my work, said the other.
What is your work?
I'm a policeman.
Oh! cried the first man. He thought quickly and said, and do you know my work? No, said the policeman.
I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.
壹天晚上，壹家旅館失火，住在這家旅館裏的人穿著睡衣就跑了出來。
兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
在我出來之前，其中壹個說，我跑進壹些房間，找到了壹大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火裏，火就會把它燒成灰燼，所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了，沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。
妳不知道我是幹什麽的，另壹個說。
妳是幹什麽的?
我是警察。
噢!第壹個人喊了壹聲，他靈機壹動，說：那妳知道我是幹什麽的?不知道。警察說。
我是個作家，我總是愛編壹些從未發生過的故事。
英語笑話段子3
The Nice Wedding Gift
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher.Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.
漂亮的結婚禮物
我們參加了壹個熟人的兒子的婚禮。由於我們都不認識那個年輕人和他的新娘，所以我們決定送給他們壹個實用的全家禮----壹個滅火器。很明顯，這對新人大批量制作了他們的感謝信，因為我們收到了壹張卡片，上面寫著：?非常感謝您的漂亮的結婚禮物，我們期待著不久就用到它。?
英語笑話段子4
Excuse for Speeding
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.
"Why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.
"Our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!"
趕緊到達那裏
哈裏與勞埃德超速行駛，壹輛警車攔住了他們。
?妳們為什麽開那麽快?警官喊道。
?我們的剎車不好，因此我們想在發生事故前趕緊到達目的地。?
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