An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.壹對老夫婦在漢堡王餐廳吃飯，他們小心翼翼地將漢堡和薯條分成兩份。
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.壹個卡車司機非常同情他們，就提議想給老太太單獨點壹份。
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything." “沒關系的。”老先生說，“我們分享壹切。”
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.幾分鐘後，卡車司機註意到老太太還沒動口吃壹點東西。
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.他再次對老先生說，“我真的不介意請您妻子吃壹頓……”
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything." “她會吃的，”老先生向他保證，“我們分享壹切。”
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"司機不太相信，懇求老太太，“妳為什麽不吃壹點？”
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”
註釋
1. take pity on 憐憫，同情，例：take pity on the weak 憐惜弱者
2. 壹起來學習壹下convince這個詞：
a. 使相信，使確信
convince sb. of sth. 例：The officials were eager to convince us of the safety of the nuclear reactors. 官員們急切想要讓我們相信核反應堆是安全的。
b. 說服（某人做某事）= persuade
convince sb. to do sth. 例：I've been trying to convince Jean to come with me. 我壹直在嘗試說服Jean和我壹起去。
The Preacher Buys a Parrot
傳教士買鸚鵡
A preacher is buying a parrot.
壹個傳教士在買鸚鵡。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
“妳確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎？”傳教士問。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
“噢，絕對不會。它是壹只虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主向他保證。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
“妳看見它腿上的那些細繩了嗎？當妳拉動右邊這根，它會背誦天主經；當妳拉動左邊那根，它會背誦贊美詩。”
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
“太棒了！”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時拉動兩根繩子，會發生什麽呢？”
"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
“我會從樹幹上掉下去，妳這個笨蛋！”鸚鵡尖聲說道。
這個笑話中出現了三個含有“大喊”、“大叫”意思的詞語：scream，yell 和 screech。
scream 指“因痛苦、恐懼、驚奇、快樂等而發出尖叫聲”，如：
She screamed when she saw the child fall. 當她看見那個孩子跌倒時，她尖聲叫了起來。
yell 多指求援、鼓勵時的呼叫，也可指因外界因素刺激而發出尖厲聲音。如：
yell the team to victory 用喊聲鼓勵運動隊取勝
screech 指“發出尖銳刺耳的聲音”，如：
The car screeched to a halt. 車子發出尖嘎聲停了下來。