"Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."?
Undaunted, Sare said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"?
丈夫打完高爾夫球回來,我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去.“爸爸,誰贏了高爾夫球比賽,是妳還是理查叔叔?”?
“我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏,”丈夫推諉說.“我們打球只是為了開心而已.”
莎拉毫不氣餒,又問：“那麽,爸爸,誰玩的更開心呢?”?
2.A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."?
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.?
"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."?
壹個男孩放學回家時,覺得肚子痛.“來,坐下,吃點點心,”媽媽說,“妳肚子痛是因為肚子是空的.吃點東西就會好的.”?
壹會兒,男孩的爸爸下班回家了,說是頭痛.?
“妳頭痛是因為妳的腦袋是空的,”他那聰明的兒子說,“裏面裝點東西,就會好的.”?
3.A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.?
Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.?
Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"?
壹位年輕的母親認為,世界上還有許多受饑餓的人,浪費食物真不應該.有天晚上,在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前,她給女兒餵夜宵.她先給她壹片新鮮的黑面包和黃油,但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃.她還要壹些果醬塗在面包上.?
母親看了女兒幾秒鐘,隨即說道,“露茜,當我象妳壹樣小的時候,總是吃面包加黃油,或者面包加果醬,從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬.”?
露茜看了母親壹會兒,眼中露出憐憫的神情,然後她柔聲說：“您現在能跟我們生活在壹起難道不感到高興嗎?”
Teacher:Wht can fishes only live in the water?
Jack:Because there are lots of cats on the ground.cats on the ground.?
老師:“為什麽魚只能生活在水中?”?
傑克：“因為陸地上有許多貓.”
Policeman:I hope this is your last time.You know,I don'twant to see you here again.?
Thief:Why?Are you going to change you job?
警察:我希望這是最後壹次逮住妳.妳知道我不願意再看到妳了.?
小偷:怎麽?您要換工作了嗎
Good Boy?
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"?
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.?
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"?
"She is the one who sells the candy."?
好孩子?
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢.?
“昨天給妳的錢幹什麽了?”?
“我給了壹個可憐的老太婆,”他回答說. “妳真是個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說.“再給妳兩分錢.可妳為什麽對那位老太太那麽感興趣呢?”?
“她是個賣糖果的.”?
1 那就更糟了 Much Worse
Much Worse
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
中文：
警察：有人搶妳的手表時,妳為什麽不呼救呢?
男子：要是我張口的話,他們就會發現我的四顆金牙.那就更糟了.
2林肯過生日 Great Event
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.?
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.?
老師：1809年發生了什麽重大事件?
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯誕生.?
老師：正確.那麽1812年發生了什麽重要事件呢?
小威利：亞伯拉罕-林肯過他的三周歲生日.
3 Talking clock?
會說話的鐘?
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"?
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"?
壹個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓,甚是得意.“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麽用的?”他的壹個朋友問他.“那玩意兒厲害了,那是壹個會說話的鐘”,學生回答.“這鐘怎麽工作的”,他的朋友問.“看著,別眨眼了”,那學生走上前壹把操起銅鑼和錘子,拼命地敲了壹下,聲音震耳欲聾.突然,他們聽到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫,“別敲了,妳這白癡!現在是淩晨兩點鐘了!”?
4The Mean Man's Party
吝嗇鬼的聚會
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
壹個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終於決定要請壹次客了.他在向壹個朋友解釋怎麽找到他家時說：“妳上到五樓,用妳的胳膊肘按門鈴.門開了後,再用妳的腳把門推開.”
“為什麽我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答,“妳總不會空著手來吧?”