諧音英語笑話大全笑破妳的肚子
同學們都鬧出過怎樣的笑話?不妨道來大家聽聽我為您整理的英語笑話。
You don?t have to pay for lightning
Teacher：Who can tell me the difference between lightning and electricity?
Student：You don? t have to pay for lightning.
閃電不用付錢
老師：誰能告訴我閃電與電的區別?
學生：閃電不用付錢。
H o n e s t y
A man who is driving a car stopped by a police officer.The following exchange takes place...
Man：What's the problem，officer?
Officer：You were going at least 75in a 55zone.
Man：No，sir，I was going 65.
Wife：Oh，Harry.You were going 80.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Officer：I' m also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight.
Man：Broken taillight?I didn't know about a broken taillight。
Wife：Oh Harry，you've known about that tail for weeks.(Man gives his wife another dirty look.)
Officer：I' m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man：Oh，I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife：Oh，Harry，you never wear your seat belt.
Man：Shut your dang mouth。
Officer：(Turns to the woman)：Ma ' am，does your husband talk to you this way all the time?
Wife：No，only when he's drunk.
誠 實
警官讓壹位駕車的男士停下車。隨後出現如下的對話：
男士：警官，有什麽問題?
警官：妳在限速55英裏的地段開到至少75英裏。
男士：不，長官，是65英裏。
妻子：啊，哈裏，妳剛才開到80英裏。(男士瞪了妻子壹眼。)
警官：我還要給妳張罰單，妳的.尾燈碎了。
男士：尾燈碎了?妳不說，我還真不知道尾燈碎了。
妻子：哦，哈裏，幾個星期以前妳就知道了。(男士又惡狠狠地瞪了她壹眼。)
警官：我還要給妳張傳票，妳沒系安全帶。
男士：噢，妳朝我車走過來的時候我才解開的。
妻子：啊，哈裏，妳從來都不系安全帶。
男士：閉上妳的臭嘴。
警官：(轉向女士)夫人，妳丈夫總是這樣跟妳說話嗎?
妻子：不，只有當他醉了的時候。
He must have a computer
A mother was teaching her 5-year-old son about God. ?Do you know, ?she said to him one day, ?that God knows where everybody is all the time, and exactly what they are doing. ?The little boy looked at his mother wide-eyed and said, ?Wow. He must have a computer.?
他壹定有臺電腦
壹位母親給她5歲的兒子講上帝。?妳知道嗎, ?有壹天她對他說, ?無論壹個人在哪裏, 在幹什麽事情, 上帝都知道。?小男孩睜大了眼睛看著他媽媽說, ?哇。那他壹定有壹臺電腦。?
Nice Try
My wife and I were stopped by a state policeman. He started to write up a speeding ticket. My wife, who?s a hair stylist, said, ?If you let us off with a warning, I?ll give you a free haircut for a year. ?
The policeman removed his hat--and he was completely bald.
by Peter Orphanos
嘗 試
我和妻子被警察攔住了，他給我們開壹個超速的罰款單。我的妻子是壹個發型設計師，於是她就對警察說，?如果妳讓我們免於警告，我就為妳免費理發壹年。?
警察脫下他的帽子?他是壹個光頭。
Who is Disgusting
First：?My neighbor is very disgusting，who moved here recently，he rang the bell of my house with a rush late at night.?
Second：?It is disgusting in faith，do you call the police?
First：?No.I just take him as a madman，and continue to play my piano.?
誰可惡
甲：?我家新搬來的鄰居好可惡，竟然深更半夜跑來猛按我家的門鈴。?
乙：?的確可惡。妳有沒有報警?
甲：?沒有。我當他是瘋子，繼續彈我的琴。?
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