Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它們是從美國直接帶來的
壹位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到壹家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃臺，銀行職員認真檢查了每壹張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最後實在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請妳相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
2.Cat Zhualaoshu
Cat chasing a mouse was, into a flower shop. Mouse found Molugetao, comfortable Picking up a bouquet of roses when weapons, as strong resistance. Cat 1:00 shocked, immediately Dixialetou, shy and said: "Sigui, too sudden a……"
貓抓老鼠
壹只老鼠被貓追趕，誤入花店。老鼠發現無路可逃，順手抱起壹束玫瑰花當武器，作頑強抵抗。貓壹時驚呆了，立馬低下了頭，羞澀地說：“死鬼，太突然了……”
3.Really important foreign language
Once, a large rats and mice in a small Dongwai Walking. Suddenly, a cat blocked entrance, rear its ugly plunged. Desperately running rats, cats feel like work on the recovery. In Shanqiongshuijin, small rodents come back, shouting壹聲directed at the cat: "bark." Cat he was scared off. Big rats boast: "OK ah, but also single-handedly, formidable!" A small mouse Mohan, sighed and said that: "It seems master a foreign language is very important ah!"
外語真重要
有壹次，壹只大老鼠和壹只小老鼠在洞外散步。突然，壹只貓堵住洞口，張牙舞爪撲來。老鼠拼命跑，貓就使勁追。就在山窮水盡時，小老鼠回過頭，沖著貓大叫壹聲：“汪汪”。貓竟然被嚇跑了。大老鼠誇道：“行啊，還會壹手，厲害！”小老鼠壹抹汗，感嘆說：“看來掌握壹門外語非常重要啊！”
4.Moss wiping rats
Mother rats suspected her husband has an affair, she bushes adjacent to the track her husband. While, a hedgehog from the holes drilled out. Mother rats Yezhu a hedgehog, said: "Sigui, said not an affair? Shining so many mousse to seduce Shuixia?"
擦摩絲的老鼠
母老鼠懷疑老公有外遇，她跟蹤老公到草叢旁。壹會兒，壹只刺猬從洞裏鉆出來。母老鼠壹把拽住刺猬說：“死鬼，還說沒外遇？擦這麽多摩絲去勾引誰呀？”
5.Rats to the toilet
Rats to the benefit of, see also Xiong, did not Qisheng, bears saw a rat, and said: "You do not Picking out?" To the rats Chisuo not language. Xiong asked: "Picking out not ah, do you?" Rats nervously and said: "can not……"
Xiong seize a mouse butt wipe away!
老鼠上廁所
老鼠去方便，見熊也在，嚇得不敢吱聲，熊看了老鼠壹眼，說：“妳掉不掉毛？”老鼠哆嗦了壹下不語。熊又問：“掉不掉毛啊，妳？”老鼠戰戰兢兢地說：“不掉……”
熊壹把抓住老鼠擦擦屁股走了！
What's You Chioce?
"I shall have to give you ten days or $20," said the judge.
"I'll take the $20,Judge," said the prisoner.英語笑話
1 A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!壹個小男孩問他的爸爸，結婚要花多少錢？爸爸說：我不知道，因為我仍然在付帳。
2 A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"
"Please, teacher,"said a small boy,"I've make someone glad yesterday."
"Well done. Who was that?"
"My granny."
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"
壹個主日學校校(基督教教會為了向兒童灌輸宗教思想, 在星期天開辦的兒童班)的老師在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。“現在，孩子們，”她說：“妳們當中有誰讓別人高興過？”
“我，老師，”壹個小男孩說：“昨天我就使別人高興過。”
“做得好，是誰呢？”
“我奶奶。”
“好孩子。現在告訴我們，妳是怎樣使妳奶奶高興的。”
“是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時。然後我跟她說：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她說：‘啊，我很高興！
3 Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."
"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"
"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".
迪克年齡七歲，他的妹妹凱瑟琳五歲。壹天，媽媽把他們帶到姨媽家去玩，自己就到大城市去買些新的衣服。
孩子們玩了個把小時，在四點半的時候，姨媽領著迪克走進了廚房。她交給迪克壹塊精美的蛋糕和壹把刀子，並對他說：“喏，迪克，給妳刀子，把這塊蛋糕壹切為二，給妳妹妹壹塊。不過，妳得記住要做得像壹個紳士那樣。”
迪克問：“像壹個紳士？紳士怎樣做呢？”
他姨媽馬上回答說：“紳士總是把大的壹塊讓給別人的。”
迪克說了壹聲“噢”。他對此想了壹會，然後，他把蛋糕拿給妹妹，並對她說：“凱瑟琳，妳來把這塊蛋糕壹切為二吧。”
4 Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
弗雷德：妳想在哪兒養它們？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是妳想洗澡時怎麽辦？
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛！
5 George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”
“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”
“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”
喬冶敲著他朋友家的門。當朋友的媽媽來應門時，他問：“阿爾伯特可以出來玩嗎？ ”
“ 不行， ” 那位媽媽說， “ 天氣太冷了。 ”
“ 噢，那麽， ” 喬冶， “ 他的足球可以出來玩嗎？