A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人直到找到丈夫前都在擔心未來；男人直到找到妻子前從不擔心未來。 EATING OUT 在外面吃飯
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though its only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
買單的時候，阿麥，阿克、阿力和阿湯每人都甩出20塊錢，雖然其實壹***只吃了32塊5。沒人有更小的票子了，也沒人願意承認他們其實想把票子破開。女人買單時，每人掏出個計算器。MONEY 錢
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnt need, but its on sale. 用得著的東西，要是值1塊錢卻賣2塊，男人也會買；用不著的東西，要是值2塊錢卻只賣1塊，女人也會買。
BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical womans bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
男人浴室裏五件寶：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃須刀，壹塊肥皂，壹塊毛巾。壹般的女人浴室裏平均有337樣東西，其中的大多數，男人不知道那是幹啥用的。
ARGUMENTS 爭論
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
任何爭論都是由女人來說最後壹句話。男人在此之後說的任何話……都是開始新的爭吵。
CATS 貓
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women arent looking, men kick cats.
女人喜歡貓。男人說他們也喜歡，但當女人看不到時，男人踢貓。
SUCCESS 成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
成功的男人是能掙比他太太花得更多的錢的；成功的女人是能找得到這麽個男人的。
MARRIAGE 婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnt. A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change! And she does.
女人嫁給壹個男人，希望他能改變，可他不；男人娶了壹個女人，希望她永遠不變，可她變了。