長壹點的英語笑話：Increase
An old man operated a street corner pretzel stand, selling the pretzels for a quarter each.
Each day at lunch time, a young lawyer would pass the stand, leave the man twenty-five cents, but never take a pretzel.
This continued for a number of years and throughout that time, they had never spoken.
One day as the lawyer passed the pretzel stand, he left his quarter as usual and the old man finally spoke to him.
"Sir, I do appreciate your business and you've been an excellent customer, but I must tell you that the price for the pretzels has increased to thirty-five cents."
長壹點的英語笑話：Charitable lawyer
A man doing telephone solicitations for a local charity called up a prominent and wealthy lawyer and asked him for a modest donation.
The lawyer became incensed at the request and said to his caller: "I bet you weren't aware that just this past week my wife required major surgery and the expenses for this surgery weren't covered by insurance."
The caller started to apologize and express his regret for having asked for money and was interrupted by the lawyer who chimed in, "And this past month my mother died and my family had to put together an expensive funeral for her."
Again the caller tried to apologize to the lawyer for attempting to solicit a donation and told the lawyer he was sorry to hear that his mother had died.
"Then just this past month, one of my sons came down with a serious illness and almost died.....and my daughter needed plastic surgery to repair a congenital defect on her face," the lawyer added to the conversation.
The caller again felt bad and regretted having bothered the lawyer for taking up his time and apologized to him.
The lawyer then responded, "And if I didn't give any of these people my money, why should I give some to you?"
長壹點的英語笑話：The Jury
A trial had been scheduled in a *** all town, but the court clerk had forgotten to call in a jury panel.
Rather than adjourning what he thought was an exceptionally simple case, the judge ordered his bailiff to go through the courthouse and round up enough people to form a jury.
The bailiff returned with a group of lawyers.
The prosecutor felt that it would be an interesting experiment to try a case before a jury of lawyers, and the defense counsel had no objection, so a jury was impaneled.
And the trial went very quickly, after only an hour of testimony, and very short closing arguments, both sides rested.
The jury was then instructed by the judge, and was sent back to the jury room to deliberate.
After nearly six hours, the trial court was concerned that the jury had not returned with a verdict.
The case had in fact turned out to be every bit as simple as he had expected, and it seemed to him that they should have been back in minutes.
He sent the bailiff to the jury room, to see if they needed anything.
The bailiff returned, and the judge asked, "Are they close to reaching a verdict?"
The bailiff shook his head, and replied, "You're honor, they're still doing nominationspeeches for the position of foreman."