幫我把壹些笑話翻譯成英文，要真正的全文翻譯哦

1、A German, French, and a Japanese man coming field work boss is an American who German say: good, you are responsible for your physical pay. Vulgarity say: you said you are engineers, you are responsible for mining plan.

And to the Japanese he said: you are very thin. You are responsible for supplies (supply).

Then every two weeks, they start working. After a few days of German and French people find Japanese disappeared, sought for a long time after they decided to return. "The germans begin to work, the Japanese suddenly jumped out, loudly to call:Surprise!

2、

A Germany captain sea, the result out of the accident, call relief, a British captain answered the telephone

Germany captain yell: Hi, I am sinking!

England captain said: Ok, I have, but why?

Germany captain continue to yell: I am sinking!!!

England captain immediately after ask: yeah, I have, but you know?