老貓-The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
譯文
老貓
壹位老婦有只貓，這只貓很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了東西，因為它年紀太大了。壹天，老貓發現壹只老鼠，它跳過去抓這只老鼠，然而，它咬不住這只老鼠。因此，老鼠從它的嘴邊溜掉了，因為老貓咬不了它。
於是，老婦很生氣，因為老貓沒有把老鼠咬死。她開始打這只貓，貓說：“不要打妳的老仆人，我已經為妳服務了很多年，而且還願意為妳效勞，但是，我實在太老了，對年紀大的不要這麽無情，要記住老年人在年青時所做過的有益的事情。”
盒子中吻(Kiss in a Box)
The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?"
The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy." The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.
It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.
In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.
有這樣壹個故事，爸爸因為三歲的女兒浪費了壹卷金色的包裝紙而懲罰了她。家裏很缺錢，當孩子想要用包裝紙裝飾壹個掛在聖誕樹上的盒子時，爸爸生氣了。
然而，第二天早上小女孩把盒子作為禮物送給了爸爸，“這是給妳的，爸爸。”女兒的這個行為讓爸爸感到尷尬。但是當他發現盒子是空的時候，他的怒火再壹次燃燒了。他對女兒喊道，“難道妳不知道給別人禮物的時候，裏面應該放有東西嗎？”
女孩擡頭看著父親，眼裏含著淚水，“爸爸，盒子不是空的。我把吻放在了盒子裏，都是給妳的，爸爸。”爸爸感動極了，他摟住女兒，懇請她的原諒。
據說爸爸壹直把那個盒子放在床邊，每當他灰心喪氣的時候，他都會回憶起女兒的吻，想起女兒放在盒子裏的愛。
現實生活中，我們每壹個人都有壹個金色的盒子，裏面裝滿了來自孩子，朋友，家人的無條件的愛和吻。沒有什麽禮物能比這些更珍貴。
另附上笑話數則
What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
Square meals!
The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it
A history joke
How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships?
With their eyes shut!
How did the boy feel after being caned?
Absolutely whacked!