簡潔英語幽默笑話品析
St Peter's question
聖彼德的問題
Three men, a doctor, an accountant and a lawyer are dead and they appear in front of St Peter. St Peter tells them that they have to answer one question in order to get to Heaven. He looks at the doctor and asks, "There was a movie that was made about a ship that sank after hitting an iceberg, what was its name?" The doctor answers, "The Titanic" and he is sent through. He then looks at the accountant and say, "How many people died in that ship?" Fortunately the accountant had just watched the movie and he answers, "1 500!". St Peter sends him through and then finally turns to the lawyer and mands, in a very heavy voice, "Name them!".
有三個人死了，分別是壹名醫生、壹名會計和壹名律師。他們來到了聖彼德面前。聖彼德對他們說，如果他們想進入天堂，就得每人回答壹個問題。聖彼德看著醫生開始發問，“以前電影院放過壹部電影，說的是壹艘船撞擊冰山後沈沒，電影的名字是什麽?” 醫生回答，“<<泰坦尼克號>>”，醫生隨即被允許進入天堂。然後聖彼德看著會計說，“船上有多少人遇難?”。會計很走運，因為他剛看過這部電影，回答道，“1500人遇難。”聖彼德把會計也放進天堂了。最後，聖彼德轉過身，看著律師，非常嚴肅地用命令的口吻問道，“把1500人的名字都說出來?”
經典簡潔英語幽默笑話
A *** art housewife
精明的家庭主婦
A *** art housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half ofthe coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stovecan save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
壹位精明的家庭主婦聽人說有壹種爐子用起來可以比她現在用的爐子省壹半的煤。她聽了大為興奮，說：“那太好了!壹個爐子可以省壹半的煤，那麽如果我買兩個爐子的話，不就可以把煤全都省下來了嗎?”
關於簡潔英語幽默笑話
Be Careful What You Wish For
慎重許願
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day.
壹對結婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同壹天出生。
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
慶祝活動中，壹位仙女出現了。她說，由於他們是已經結婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人壹個願望。
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand.
妻子想周遊世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的壹聲，她的手中出現了壹張票。
Next, it was the hu *** and's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like tohave a woman 30 years younger than me."
接下來該丈夫許願了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要壹位比我年輕30歲的女人。”
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
仙女拾起了魔術棒。“呯!”，他變成了90歲。
簡潔英語幽默笑話欣賞
Expensive Advice
昂貴的建議
The doctor finally reached his table at a dinner, after breaking away from a woman who soughtadvice on a health problem.
大夫在打發走了壹個就健康問題向他咨詢的婦女之後，最後來到餐桌上。
"Do you think I should send her a bill?" the doctor asked a lawyer who sat next to him.
“妳認為我應該向她收費嗎?”大夫問坐在身邊的壹個律師。
"Why not?" the lawyer replied. "You rendered professional services by giving advice."
“有什麽不應該?”律師答道，“妳通過提建議提供了職業 *** 。”
"Thanks," the physician said. "I think I'll do that."
“謝謝，”大夫說道，“看來我得這麽做。”
When the doctor went to his office the next day to send the bill to the woman, he found aletter from the lawyer. It read:
第二天當大夫去辦公室給那位婦女寫賬單時，他收到律師的壹封信。信中寫道：
"For legal services, $50."
“請付法律服務費50美元。”
簡潔英語幽默笑話品味
A Bad Impression
壹個壞印象
My hu *** and and I are both writers. During dinner conversations, we often tell our childrenabout our working days. It wasn't clear how much they absorbed until one day I overheard myseven-year- old, Lucy, cry out in frustration at her five-year-old sister, Charlotte, "You, you...you editor!"
我丈夫和我都是作家。晚夕談話中，我們經常給孩子們談到我們的工作。沒人清楚他們聽懂了多少。直到有壹天，我偶然聽到七歲的女兒盧希煩惱地向她五歲的妹妹喊道：“妳，妳----妳這個編輯!”