英語的笑話有：
1、Tom's excuse
Teacher:Tom,why are you late for school every day?
Tom:Every time I e to the corner,a sign says,School-Go Slow.
翻譯：
教師：湯姆，您為什麽每壹天上學遲到？
湯姆：我每次走過拐角，壹個路標上頭寫著：學校——慢行。
2、A Useful Way
Father:Jack,why do you drink so much water?
Jack:I have just had an apple,Dad.
Father:What"s that got to do with it?
Jack:I forgot to wash the apple.
翻譯：
爸爸：傑克，妳幹嘛喝這麽多水呀？
傑克：我剛才吃了個蘋果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是這跟喝水有什麽關系呢？
傑克：我忘了洗蘋果呀。
3、These Are My Jeans
After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago.
“Look，look.”she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband.“I can wear my old jeans again.”
Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans.”
翻譯：
壹個婦女在減肥壹段時間後自我感覺特別好——特別是當她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了。”她丈夫看了她好壹會兒，然後說：“親愛的，我愛妳。但那是我的褲子。”
4、A Monkey and a Flea
Mum: Baby, what’s the difference between a monkey and a flea? Baby: One is big and one is small.
Mum: Anything else?
Baby: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can’t have monkeys.
翻譯：
媽媽：猴子和跳蚤有什麽不同呢？
兒子：它們倆壹大壹小。
媽媽：還有呢？
兒子：猴子身上可以長跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。
5、Headache
＂I have a bad headache. I'll visit the doctor."
＂Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a kiss to my wife and the paindisappeared. Why don't you try it?"
＂Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over."
翻譯：
“我頭疼的厲害，要去看看醫生了。”
“胡說八道，昨天我也頭疼，我沖回家吻了妻子壹下，馬上不疼了，要不妳也試試？”
“好主意，給妳妻子打個電話，說我馬上就到。”