要麽是笑點低要麽是他是壹個很捧場,很nice的人
為什麽壹個女生 不管任何人說壹個笑話 她都可以笑好久 說明什麽哪有單純的哥們關系啊,沒那麽簡單。醉翁之意不在酒,她是想讓妳追她。妳如果看上了她,就勇敢的表白,如果沒那個意思,建議妳遠離她。
怎麽給別人講壹個笑話 開心請采納我的問題
1、壹個女生前壹天晚上得到男朋友的訂婚戒指,但竟沒有壹個同學註意到,令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐著談天的時候,她突然站起來大聲說:“哎呀,這裏真熱呀,我看我還是把戒指脫下來吧。”2、女主人把女傭叫到面前問她:“妳是否懷孕了?”“是啊!”女傭回道。“虧妳還說得出口,妳還沒有結婚,難道不覺得害羞嗎?”女主人再次訓。“我為什麽要害羞,女主人妳自己不也懷孕了嗎?”“可是我懷的是我丈夫的!”女主人生氣地反駁。“我也是啊!”女傭高興地附和。3、壹個人騎摩托車喜歡反穿衣服,就是把口子在後面扣上,可以擋風。壹天他酒後駕駛, 翻了,壹頭栽在路旁。警察趕到:警察甲:好嚴重的車禍。警察乙:是啊,腦袋都撞到後面去了。警察甲:嗯,還有呼吸,我們幫他把頭轉回來吧。警察乙:好.....壹、二使勁,轉回來了。警察甲:嗯,沒有呼吸了.......4、在壹條七拐八拐的鄉村公路上,因為時常發生車禍,所以常常有壹些鬼故事發生,有壹天晚上,有壹個出租車司機看見路邊有壹個長發披肩,身著白衣的女人向他招手,因為這個司機沒有見過鬼,所以大膽的停下來讓她上車了,這壹路上,司機雖然不信有鬼,心裏也毛毛的,所以時常從後視鏡看後面的女人,開著開著,突然司機發現那個女人不見了!司機嚇了壹大跳,趕緊踩了壹個剎車!只見那個女人滿臉是血,表情猙獰。司機嚇的牙直打顫。突然那女人開口了:“妳會不會開車啊!我低頭系個鞋帶妳突然壹剎車我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、壹個病人去看病,醫生檢查了他,皺著眉頭說:“您病得太嚴重了,恐怕不會活多久了。” 病人:“求您告訴我我還能活多久?” 醫生:“十……” 病人著急地問:“十什麽?十年十個月?十天?” 醫生:“十,九,八,七,六,五……”6、老師:“妳能說壹些18世紀科學家***同特點嗎?”學生:“能,他們都死了。”7、犀糞蜣和蚊子談戀愛,蜣問蚊子是做什麽工作的,蚊子說:“護士,打針的。”蜣壹拍大腿:“緣分吶,我是中藥局搓藥丸的…”8、壹非洲人住在某壹賓館。夜半,起火,不明原因。非洲人見狀顧不了那麽許多,光著身子就跑出去了。消防員見狀驚呼:“我的媽呀!都燒的糊了吧區的了還能跑那麽快!”9、壹個人想出國考察,但必須得到老總批準。於是他向老總請示,老總給了他壹張字條,上面寫著:“Go ahead”。 那人想:“Go ahead=前進,老總是批準了。”於是他開始打點行李。 壹個同事見到了他問:“妳在做什啊”他說:“我準備出國考察,老總批準了,給我寫了‘Go ahead’。” 同事壹見條就樂了:“咱們老總根本就沒批準!咱老總的英語水平妳還不知道,他這是在說去個頭!”10、牧師對買了他馬和馬車的農夫說:“這匹馬只能聽懂教會的語言,叫"感謝上帝"它就跑;叫"贊美上帝"它才停下。”農夫將信將疑,他試著喊了壹聲感謝上帝,那匹馬立刻飛奔起來,越跑越快。壹只跑到懸崖邊上驚恐的農夫才想起讓它停下來的口令“贊美上帝”。果然,馬停下來了。死裏逃生的農夫長出壹口氣:“感謝上帝………”
我打了很久,請采納
1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the clas *** ate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my hu *** and!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car aident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, o, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car aident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold sped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you *** ashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years? Ten months Ten days?\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists mon characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't s.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it s password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse sped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"
I played for a long time, please
都近來,每人講壹個笑話!五個學生吸煙成癮。壹天他們在廁所吸煙,被教導主任看見,教導主任告訴其班主任,班主任次日找他們談話。
老師:“妳吸煙嗎?”
學生A:“吸?”
老師:“吸?妳很光榮嘛!回家叫家長來!”
學生A回去後,和另外四個說:“老師問妳們吸煙嗎,妳們都別承認,都說不吸,這事我自己擔了。”
老師:“妳吸煙嗎?”
學生B:“不吸。”
“那吃根薯條吧。”說著老師遞過薯條。
學生B自然地伸出兩個指頭?
老師:“不吸?回家把家長叫來。”
老師:“妳吸煙嗎?”
學生C:“不吸。”
“那吃根薯條吧。”
學生C小心地接過薯條,心中暗暗感激學生B。(幸好早有準備)
老師:“不蘸點番茄醬嗎?”
學生C壹不留神將醬蘸多了,便開始往碗裏彈?
老師:“不吸?煙灰彈得很熟練嘛?回家把家長叫來!”
老師:“吸煙嗎?”
學生D:“不?吸?。”
學生D吃完薯條已是汗流浹背。
學生D:“謝謝?老師?沒事的話我先回去了。”
老師:“妳不給同學帶根吃嗎?”
學生D:“謝謝老師。”
說著把薯條放在耳朵上?
老師:“知道我該說什麽了吧,還不去叫家長!”
老師:“吸煙嗎?”
學生E:“不吸。”
(總算把薯條安心放在口袋裏?)
學生E轉身想走,老師突然喊:“校長來了!”
只見學生E慌忙把薯條從口袋裏拿出來,放到地上使勁地踩?
壹個男人對壹個女人講黃色笑話說明什麽說明這個男的不要臉,就是壹個死變態。根本不尊重妳,不把妳當回事。要是真的在意妳,就不會說壹些這麽反感的話了。反正我是這麽認為的
當壹個女生要妳給她講笑話
豬對熊說:“妳猜猜我口袋裏有幾塊糖”
熊說:“猜對了妳給我吃麽”
豬說:“猜對了兩塊都給妳”
熊說:“五塊。”
豬熊誰笨
問妳個事:現在打胎多少錢?不要告訴別人,我都不知道咋辦了, 今早就覺得不對,壹檢查才發現我自行車沒氣了,打胎要我三毛錢,虧不?
某男,因女友壹次車禍,曾大量輸血給她。後來兩人鬧翻,該男壹定要血債血還,該女壹氣之下扯下壹片衛生巾砸他臉上怒道,先還妳壹筆,以後每月按揭!
忘情水是誰給的?==>啊哈
(“啊哈,給我壹杯忘情水”)
壹個女人,男人什麽她都要,說明什麽?親,很高興為妳解答! 這個女人很厲害,是壹個“高手”。
根據妳說的,她應該是還沒有玩夠呢,這就是典型的找個好人嫁了吧的女人!
她不會喜歡任何人,她愛的人是她自己,壹個極度自私的人! 嘴上說這不可能,但是別人對她的好,她卻照單全收,甚至於 *** 、胸罩!
很可怕的女人,不知道哪位可憐的同誌會接盤!
她壹直在享受別人追她的過程,貪圖虛榮!
我不認為她在享受的時候沒有任何付出!
這種女人要敬而遠之,當然妳覺得妳有能力的話玩玩也無妨!
滿意望采納!
給家人講壹個笑話作文,324字我什麽都做得不錯(自戀!),就是太太……太粗心了。
就拿昨天來說吧!我們學校門口有專門檢查紅領巾的。前天我失落了壹根紅領巾,所以我今天壹定要好好保護這根紅領巾!但是我下午來找紅領巾的又不見了,怎麽回事啊我左想右想,使勁回憶今天早上把紅領巾隨手放在哪兒了可是我想了半天都沒想到,我清楚的記得,我紅領巾壹定壹定……壹定在家裏的,可是在家裏的什麽地方呢眼看就要遲到了,我只好喊媽媽給了我壹塊錢買壹根羅!我照常把手放進荷包裏,這個動作是我平常的招牌動作。但是我今天把手放進荷包裏的時候不是壹副酷酷的表情,而是壹副吃驚的表情。因為我的紅領巾就在荷包裏,還包括昨天我丟失的那根紅領巾!我當時又驚又喜,上課的時候我都想著給老媽老爸講這趣事兒。我壹放學就跑,不,應該說是“飛”進家門給老媽老爸講這件事情。老媽老爸聽了以後哈哈大笑,直說我是“不長記性的超級大草包(不長記性?草包?)”我也不好意思笑了。
哎喲,我鬧了笑話,哎哎,我這粗心的毛病真得改改了哦!
壹個喜歡的女生叫我講笑話,然而她沒有笑,別人講他卻笑了的說說課堂上,老師布置了壹篇作文。
題目是:“什麽叫懶惰?”
晚上,老師在燈下批改作文。
當他翻開傑弗斯的作文本時,發現第壹頁是空白的。
接著,第二頁也是空白的,只是到了第三頁,才見到了壹行字:“這就叫懶惰!