壹：She Didn"t Say Anything
A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence.
The girl looked at her father and said, “It was Mom”。
“How do you know?” asked her father.
“She didn"t say anything.”
二：I Have Turned It Over
A woman said to her husband, “dear, look at our sheet! It"s too dirty. Would you like to wash it now?”
The man looked at the sheet and then thought for a while and then said, “I don"t think it"s necessary. We can turn the sheet over. Is that all right?”
三、40 over Li lotus heart disease arises suddenly, is escorted to the hospital first aid. The condition extremely too bad, the Li lotus felt oneself nearly all already died.
In the rescue, the Li lotus has heard God's sound suddenly: "You cannot die, you also may live for 45 years 6 months 02 days, has the courage to go on living!"
Certainly, the result was the Li lotus miracle is revived. After the body recovers, the Li lotus thought oneself also can live for more than 40 years, then □has anxiously is leaving the hospital, first repairs the face, then makes up the lip, then is the prosperous chest, finally is the thin abdomen, continuously has undergone 4 cosmetology surgeries altogether, then was called the specialized hair stylist to visit the service, changed has sent the color, has made the new tide hairstyle, the entire stature looked at □the young several years old.
After last the reshaping surgery completes, the Li lotus then happily handled left the hospital the procedure, □thought actually the ambulance which rapidly 駛過 by 撞死 in the entrance.
After the heaven, the Li lotus has been angry interrogates God: "Since you had said I also may live for 45 years, then you should not eat the word."
God awkwardly 聳了聳肩, replies: "Really is sorry, at that time, the vehicle hit when you... ... I have not recognized am you."
英語笑話這裏面有的，可以看看：
/loveu/Article/english/yyxx/200508/22000.html
英語幽默
雙關歇後語：）~
/~t207/wht_2.htm
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什麽妳每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,僦看見壹個牌子仩寫著"學校----慢行".
Do You Know My Work？
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work，” said the other．
“What is your work？”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
譯文：（自己簡單翻譯）
妳知道我是幹什麽的嗎？
壹天晚上，壹家旅館失火，住在這家旅館裏的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來。
兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
“在我出來之前，”其中壹個說：“我跑進壹些房間，找到了壹大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火裏，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。”
“妳不知道我是幹什麽的。”另壹個說。
“妳是幹什麽的？”
“我是警察。”
“噢！”第壹個人喊了壹聲。他靈機壹動，說：“那妳知道我是幹什麽的？”“不知道。”警察說。
“我是個作家。我總是愛編壹些從未發生過的故事。”
Who is the laziest
Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class ?
Jack:I don`t know ,father.
Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word?
Jack:Our teacher ,father.
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謝謝！