20字的幽默英語小故事

1、A：Which do you find more important, money or friends? B: Friends, of course. A: Why? B: I can always borrow money from friends. 錢和朋友 甲：妳認為錢和朋友哪壹個更重要？ 乙：當然是朋友。 甲：為什麽？ 乙：我總可以從朋友那兒借到錢。 2、A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are o cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢. “昨天給妳的錢幹什麽了?” “我給了壹個可憐的老太婆,”他回答說.“妳真是個好孩子,”媽媽驕傲地說.“再給妳兩分錢.可妳為什麽對那位老太太那麽感興趣呢?” “她是個賣糖果的.” 3、Look,it's a cat!He is running after a dog.What is he doing?He wants get the dog's tail. 看,那是只貓.他再追壹只狗.他在幹什麽呢?他想拿到狗的尾巴. 4、The ocean is blue. The ocean is big. There are many fish in the ocean. There are big fish. There are *** all fish. There are fast fish and slow fish. The big fish eat the *** all fish. The fast fish eat the slow fish. The fishermen catch all the fish. The people eat all the fish. 大海是藍色的。海洋是大的。海洋裏有許多魚。有大魚。有小魚。有快速的魚和慢魚。大魚吃小的魚。快速魚吃慢魚。漁民捕獲所有的魚。人們吃所有的魚。　10條冷笑話，就幾句話， 1) talk back to your rice krispies. all of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. refuse to clean it up, explaining, "no, i want to watch them suffer." 跟妳的米酥（壹種零食）講話，然後突然！表現出妳被冒犯的樣子，把裝米酥的碗摔在地上、並壹腳踹上去。跟妳的室友說妳不會打掃，並解釋：“我就是要看他們被折磨的樣子！” 2) every time your roommate walks in yell, "hooray! you're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "shouldn't you be going somewhere?" 每次妳室友回來的時候都大聲歡呼：“哇！妳回來啦！！”然後圍著他跳舞跳上五分鐘，接著就壹直看表，問他：“妳是不是該出去壹趟啊？” 3) make a sandwich. don't eat it, leave it on the floor. ignore the sandwich. wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" plain loudly that you are hungry. 做個三明治，不要吃、把它丟在地板上。然後就無視那塊三明治、直到妳室友受不了把它給扔了。這時候妳就可以大聲喊餓，問：“我那該死的三明治哪兒去了！？” 4) while your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. when your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 趁妳室友外出的時候，把妳的鞋子沾在天花板上，等他回來的壹瞬間坐在地板上，摸著頭大叫痛。 5) tell your roommate, "i've got an important message for you." then pretend to faint. when you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. later on, say, "oh, yeah, i remember!" pretend to faint again. keep this up for several weeks. 對妳室友說：“我有個重要的消息要告訴妳！”然後裝暈倒。接著等妳醒過來的時候就跟他說妳忘記是什麽消息了。等壹會，又說“哦！我記起來了！”然後繼續裝暈倒。這樣持續玩上個幾星期。 6) collect hundreds of pens andpile them on one side of the room. keep one pencil on the other side of the room. laugh at the pencil. 買壹大堆筆回來，在房間的壹邊排列好。然後只把其中壹支放在房間的另壹邊，對著它大笑。 7) buy some knives. sharpen them every night. while you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "soon, soon...." 買壹些刀回來，每天晚上磨，邊磨邊看著妳的室友小聲嘟噥：“快了、就快了……” 8) draw a tiny black line on your nose. make it bigger every day. look at it and say, "the hair, it's growing. growing!" 在妳的鼻子上畫壹條細線，每天加粗壹點，然後對著妳的室友喊：“看！它在生長！在生長！” 9) move everything to one side of the room. ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern. 把房間裏所有東西都移到墻邊，壹邊很認真地盯著地板看，壹邊問妳室友：妳覺得壹頭大象能有多重呢？ 10) collect potatoes. paint faces on them and give them names. name one after your roommate. separate your roommate's potato from the others. wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. explain to your roommate, "he just didn't belong." 收集壹堆土豆、給它們分別畫上臉、取名字。然後把那個以妳室友命名的和其他土豆分開。幾天後把它烤來吃了，跟妳的室友解釋說：“它就是跟大家合不來嘛……” 文章來源 //qnr.cn/waiyu/yiwen/other/200910/218282 轉載請註明出處