妳看那些明星，三十歲比二十歲漂亮，四十歲又比三十歲漂亮，那才叫越長越漂亮，因此我相信在未來的二十年裏，我還是有變帥的可能的，這麽多年來，每天晚上睡覺前，我都堅信第二天早上醒來的時候，我就會變得更帥壹些，但每回等到第二天早上，總是叫我失望。這二十年裏，不斷的失望，就有不斷的希望，如今我終於明白了，像我這麽壹張完美無瑕的臉蛋，是很難再有所超越的。
近來生活比較安逸，早上睡到十壹點，起來吃個中飯；下午再睡，壹睡睡到五點半，起來吃晚飯；吃過晚飯再睡，壹直睡到第二天上午十壹點，睡得好累啊，皮膚得不到充分的休息，臉上就不是很太平，小痘痘都生出來了，昨天腦殼上來個“眾星拱月”，今天鼻子兩旁又來個“牛郎織女”，所以今天我就覺得照半個鐘頭不大夠，要照壹個鐘頭才行。
我發現壹個秘密，雖然暫時沒有充分的科學依據，但我相信，不久的將來肯定會得到科學證實的，就是當妳剛剛照鏡子的時候，總會覺得妳不是很帥，不過妳不要害怕，只要目不轉睛盯著鏡子多看幾分鐘，妳就會漸漸帥起來的，並且看得越久就會越帥，妳要是看足壹刻鐘，就會覺得這個世上再沒有比妳更帥的人了；妳要是看上半個鐘頭，就有壹種飄飄然羽化登仙的感覺；妳要是看滿壹個鐘頭，妳就覺得妳已經變成佛了。
壹個口音很重的鄉長說：“兔子們，蝦米們，豬尾巴，不要醬瓜，鹹菜太貴啦！”譯：同誌們，鄉民們，註意吧，不要講話，現在開會啦！“主持人說：“鹹菜請香腸醬瓜！”譯：現在請鄉長講話！”鄉長說：“不要醬瓜，今天的飯狗吃了，大家都是大王八！”譯：不要講話，今天的飯夠吃了，大家都是大碗吧！”
有壹位父親十分喜歡當兵，給自己兒子取名皇（黃）軍。有壹天父親送皇（黃)軍去上學，八路車來了兒子卻還在壹邊玩耍，父親大喊：“皇（黃）軍快跑，八路來了”。
I filled the university entrance exam volunteer altogether three, the first two is tsinghua Beijing university, at home and looking for a month, not wait until the letter of admission, estimates that the name of tsinghua recruit students I get left out, the notice on the road was the somebody else the postman lost.
You look at the stars, 30 years old than twenty years old and beautiful, forty years and more than 30 years old beautiful, it's more long more beautiful, so I believe in the next 20 years, I still change handsome possible, so DuoNian, and every night before sleeping, I firmly believe that the second day morning wake up of time, I will get more handsome some, but each back to wait until the next morning, always let me down. The twenty years, constantly disappointment, there is constant hope, and now I finally understand, be like me so a flawless face, is difficult to surpassing.
Recently, the life is easy, sleep in the morning at eleven o 'clock, up to eat lunch; Go to sleep in the afternoon, a sleep sleep to 5:30, up for dinner; After dinner to sleep, had been sleep till the second day morning at eleven o 'clock, have a good sleep is tired, the skin can't get enough rest, on the face is not very quiet, small blain blain were born out, yesterday skull up a "ZhongXingGongYue", today on both sides of the nose and to a "the gigolo knit", so today I feel as half an hour is not big enough, according to an hour to do so.
I found a secret, though no scientific basis for the full, but I believe, in the near future will surely get science confirmation, is when you just see the mirror, always feel that you are not very handsome, but you don't fear, just couldn't stop looking at the mirror read a few minutes, you will gradually handsome up, and see the longer the handsome, if you see a quarter full, you will find in this world nothing than to you more handsome person; If you are only after half an hour, there is a kind of swept up from the feeling; If you look for a full hour, you will feel that you had become a Buddha.
A heavy accent of the steward said: "the rabbits, shrimp, pig, the tail don't JiangGua, pickle is too expensive!" The comrades, the villagers, pay attention to it, don't talk, and now the meeting! "The host said:" please sausage JiangGua pickle!!!!! "Translation: now please the steward talk!" The steward said: "don't JiangGua, today of the rice the dog ate the, everybody is a big tortoise!" Translation: don't talk, today's rice have enough to eat, everybody is a large bowl! "
Have a father is very like the army, to give their son named huang (yellow) army. One day his father sent huang (yellow) army to go to school, and to the son is 8 car while still in play, father yell: "emperor (yellow) army run, 8 come".